Tuesday, 12 April 2016

A Pipedream? (April 12, 2016)

As I sit
Before this computer
Attempting
To type out
This poem.

My mind is
Wandering
All over.

Into areas
I rather not go
As the tears
Threaten to flow.

Is it
A fantasy
To think?

Maybe
One day
I'll be free
Of my lifelong depression?

One
So deep
A cocktail
Of anti-depressants
Had little affect.

Beyond
Triggering massive
Side-effects
In my body.

Worsening
How I view myself
And my self-hatred
To my body.

Never mind
The crying bouts
And the hidden tears
I shed
Behind closed doors.

Would settle
For just one day
Of feeling
What everyone else
Takes for granted.

Equilibrium.

Therisa © 2016


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8 comments:

  1. A worthyndream and one that I hope comes true for you. Hayesspencer is Kanzensakura.

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  2. This is an amazing poem. So many times we assume that everyone's life is like ours -- just hunkey dorrie and we dance on. Or we think that everyone's holiday season is joyous and full of laughter. Realities differ greatly. Sensitivity to eyes, tone of voice, and positioning of shoulders...we must all listen more carefully and simply touch a hand and heart. Thank you for writing this.

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  3. Oh Therisa.. this made me cry.. beautifully poignant.

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  4. That's the hardest task, to accept oneself and move on, in equilibrium with the world ~ I don't think its a fantasy to think about it ~

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  5. Therisa, I DO wish you that equilibrium! And please do not hate yourself.

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  6. This touched me. Wishing you peace.

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  7. This should not be a fantasy.. But I do understand you..

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  8. OH, how I wish equilibrium for you too and all who live with mental illness! I'm going to NAMI convention this summer. Do you have a local NAMI chapter?

    ReplyDelete

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