Doing It, For Myself (April 13, 2016)

Been asked

In the past

Am I transitioning

As a way

Of striking back

At my mom.

A question

I can answer

Truthfully

No.

The greatest weapon

I can hurt her

Is silence

On my part.

Or

In reaction

To the years

Of abuse

By my younger brother.

Another question

That I can answer

No.

My first conscious memory

Of seeing myself

As a girl

Occurred

More than

Forty-one years ago.

Sitting

In a bathtub

Alone

Covering my chest

In bubble bath bubbles

Like I have breasts.

Similar

To mom's.

Never mind

The big differences

In how

I played

With my toys

As a child.

By being gentle

With them

Like they're fragile dolls.

Not the smash

Bang

Crash'em way

Of most small boys.

Or

My teenage years

Walking

Throughout the house

When alone.

As if

I was wearing

High heels.

Like the models

And actresses do

On TV.

Therisa © 2016