Saturday 11 November 2017

November's Tears (November 10, 2017)

Once more
November's gray skies
Hover over my soul
Draining me.

A time
Where death comes forth
Like the fiery Santa Ana winds
Claiming it's due.

Find myself
Struggling to keep afloat
As the holocaust threatens
To consume me
In it's embrace.

Time isn't 
On my side.

As the growing darkness
Looms larger
Upon the horizon
Before me.

For the coming downpour
That leaves my soul
A frozen shell
In the desolate landscape.

As I have one foot
In this world
With the other 
Straddling the line
Between life and death.

That November is
The month of death.

Therisa © 2017

Author's note: November 10-20th, is one of my darkest period on the calendar, in which, many somber remembrances and anniversaries are observed. On top of my SAD that usually last from November to mid--March, before I can leave the grip of severe depression. Although, over this past year I have been dealing with a chronic depression, except for brief periods, hasn't left me. Struggling to write, as my depression has chased my muse away. 


Kerry O'Connor said...

The last November was one of the worst month's of my life so these words resound with particular meaning for me.. let's hope for better Novembers to come.

Therisa's World said...

Thank you, Kerry. I hope and pray that this year will be different.

Vivian Zems said...

The tsunami of approaching darkness is one I'm very familiar with. I, too, pray that this year is different- for you.
Try to hold on to your muse and when the time comes, use your pen as a weapon. Write one-line poems, if you have to. We're all here to support you.
( I speak as one who survives this way)

Vivian Zems said...

This actually made me cry. Hold your much as possible.

Kim M. Russell said...

Dark and chilling, Therisa. November is a grey month, when the end of the year approaches, but once you get over the threshold of the new year, you're home and dry.

Old Egg said...

Even grown ups like children need a comfort doll, a teddy bear, a trusted friend to get them through the dark patches of life, perhaps even a holiday would help Therisa.

annell4 said...

It is interesting to think we wish for things to be different, and yet each year they seem the same. Living deep isn't easy. For me, when I begin to sink, I write and write and write. I don't know if this really helps...but it is what I do. When things become overwhelming, I think if I write it down, I can let it go, come back to it later....or not. May each day be full of the gifts that wait for you.

Mary said...

I do think writing helps oftentimes to keep a person above ground and to get through the very difficult times. As Vivian so aptly said, use your pen as a weapon.

Magical Mystical Teacher said...

What a dark poem! And yet there are little notes of hope here and there. For instance, the holocaust only threatens to consume; it has not consumed yet. And there is still one foot in this world, the world of the living. Tiny signs of hope to be sure, but real nonetheless---real enough to grab and hold on to tenaciously.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I am glad you are writing and posting again, Therisa. That shows ascendancy over the darkness, our spirits are born to rise. We shall face next November with extra lights on in our rooms, and our pens poised aloft. Smiles.

Sherri B. said...

Writing always helps me, and I hope writing it out will give you some relief. I have such compassion for what you're dealing with. Your poem captures the darkness in a profoundly beautiful way...I'm sending you good thoughts.

Magaly Guerrero said...

Seasonal depression is such a terrible thing. I hope this coming November is not as bad as the ones already lived, I hope your muse can birth a bit of sunshine and warmth here and there, I hope you stay in contact so those of us on the outside can help... I've never suffered of depression, but when horrors I can't quite control reach for my throat, I reach out... for the hands and faces and words I know will help me keep breathing. Let there be light! in the Fall, through the Winter, in the Dark.

tonispencer said...

I can certainly identify with this one as March is my hard month. so many anniversaries and sadness associated with it. I too deal with chronic depression and March hits hard. I try to get outside in what little sun there is. I hope your depression lightens through the year.

Susan said...

Ach, November sits heavy here, too, for so many reasons. And, indeed, as I read your poem again, I get a sense that the "I" is a group/universal, all together we face this downpour and desolation, regardless of our individual reasons.

Susan said...

Wow. Sagely said!

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

I always have a difficult time in December--here is hoping for more light in your Novembers

ZQ said...

I would turn the "line" into the "middle way" that forgets any side.
Well written. Made me think, thanks.

Gillena Cox said...

Its horrible when depression does that to a muse. Hope you get your happy days back soon

A blessed Sunday to you. Thanks for droppk g by my blog


Therisa's World said...

Thank you, Vivian, for your kind and generous support. The ultimate sign of depressive, is the huge explosion of poetic thoughts. As poems write themselves, usually 2-3 poems/day. Often lasting for several weeks, before the crash.

Therisa's World said...

Does 3 adorable cats count, Robin? As for a vacation, I can't afford one, with my monthly disability cheque and the prices in Toronto.

Therisa's World said...

Then the joys of the month of fevers, February. Never fails, I get sick on my birthday. Am thinking of petitioning the UN that day be deleted from the calendar. Thus saving numerous groundhogs from physical abuse by humanity.

dsnake1 said...

i think writing helps, to get your mind off the painful things. don't let your muse goes AWOL.

Thotpurge said...

The struggle is palpable...
Where death comes forth
Like the fiery Santa Ana winds
Claiming it's due... so vivid and stark! Hope the writing is cathartic and helps.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Nevertheless the writing is beautiful, one of your best I think. Sometimes the Muse returns refreshed after an absence!

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