Outside, the world was covered
In a blanket of white
Slowly, dissolving
Under an unusual early February rain
Looking like moths
Been feasting on a wool blanket.
Matching my mood
As an old comfortable blanket
Discarded, for not giving anymore warmth
Toss away
Without a second thought
Passed the best before date.
Where did we go wrong
I keep, asking myself
Even though, a year has passed
The hole in my soul, hasn't healed
Instead, it has festered and become infected
Spewing out puss.
Why did you choose leave, than
You knew about the weather forecast
What the back roads are like
At this time of the year
Barely passable, at best
Otherwise, treacherous.
Knew how you hated
The time, that i've to work late
Worrying about my long drive home
Frantically, pacing the hallway
Til, i enter the house
Greeting me with passionate hugs and kisses.
Realizing, i wouldn't finish on time
Phoned you, to break the bad news
Promising to pick-up dinner
You seemed distance
Wish, i knew why
Would give up my job for you.
Murphy's Law
How i hate it
Everything went wrong at once
Delaying me, an extra hour
Only, if that hadn't happened
You may still be here.
But, no
Fate had other plans for us
Pulling up, the long snow swept driveway
I saw a sight
Forever engraved in my mind
And, heart.
Police cruiser, parked in front of the house
Fear filled me
Imagining the worse
Never expecting it, to happen
Slowly, i approach the cruiser
Dinner, in hand.
Young female officer
Stepped out of the cruiser
Approaching me, with a grim face
Stopping, i dropped the take-out
Fainting
Quickly, she caught me.
"Ms, are you alright"
Wanted to snarl at her
Do, i look alright
But, held my tongue
Slowly, regaining control
Brushing the snow from my body and the take-out.
You followed me, into the house
Before, speaking
Sitting at the empty kitchen table
You broke the news
Not possible
You're lying to me.
Flashed through my mind
As anger, turn to grief
Tears, running down my face
Hope, a faint glimmer on the horizon
Asking you, the question
I dreaded to hear, confirmed.
"Is Miriam, ok
Did she survive"
Please, let her live
Begging, silently
"Was Miriam, your daughter?"
A question, rather than an answer.
"Yes"
Quickly, i answered
Feeling the weight of the world upon me
Barely, hearing your reply
"I'm sorry"
No,no, not my baby, too.
Past year, was a blur to me
Don't even remember
Who made all of the funeral arranges
Slipping through the year
In a haze of tranqs and anti-depressants
Until, now.
Carefully, sweeping the grave marker clean
I stood, silently
First time, back since the graveside service
Need to put yours and Miriam's spirit at rest
Before moving on
As, i heal.
"Goodbye, Sarah
Take care of Miriam, for me"
Digging into my pocket
Removing Sarah's unread letter to me
Lighting the letter, with a lighter
Letting the wind scatter the burning ash.
Without, a second glance
I headed away
The world seemed a little colder place
As, if my heart had perished, too
Tears streaming down my face
As, i leave my buried heart and soul.
Therisa © 2008
