The Dreaded Talk (December 22, 2018)

Stand before you

Trying to read

Your body language

And failing.

Having shared

My deepest truth

Who I am.

Many would label me

Mentally ill.

Doing nothing

Is killing me

Each passing day.

It's not a fad

Or sexual fetish

Just whom I am.

With or without

Your approval

And support

I must go forward.

Living my life

As meant to

Regardless

Of our relationship.

Knowing

You'll blame yourself

In my need for change

Please understand

Nothing you have done

Or didn't do

Has cause this.

I'll always love you

No matter

Your answer.

Therisa © 2018

Author’s note: Whether we label ourselves; as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered.

The hardest thing is coming out of the closet to our love ones and friends. I say this, from

very personal experience of outing myself to my mom, on July 1, 2006 (Canada Day). I

wasn’t prepared for her sudden arrival at my apartment, having promising me that she

would leave alone on for the holiday long weekend. I tried to explain, her eldest “son”

was her “daughter” that nature had denied her, so cruelly with a stillborn birth, before me.

Being depressed, in my default emotional state. In the past decade, I have been depressed,

even though, I have taken several different types of antidepressant. At one time, it was a

cocktail of 4 different drugs. Sadly, my body reacted strongly against most of these

medications.

Her outright rejection, fueled by ignorance and fear, tipped me, into a month long suicidal

depression that almost ended my life, on July 3rd and 4th, as I reached out to a friend. Who

spent several hours over the phone, talking. Walking me back, from the ledge that I was

going to end my life, with a sharp object, in the bathtub.

Just A Dream? (June 23, 2018)

For one weekend

Dr Martin Luther King Jr’s dream

Is alive and breathing

For all to see.

Regardless

Of one's gender sexuality

Or ethnicity.

We gather to celebrate

Diversity and harmony

Of the human spirit

In overcoming barriers

That society puts before us.

By reveilling

Our innermost feelings

Of identity and self-acceptance

Who we are

As a greater society

And individuals.

Where love isn't

Just a word found

In greeting cards

Wedding ceremonies

Or to religious sermons.

Rather

An expression

From within

A beacon fulfilling us

With hope.

Enabling society

To overcome hate

And ignorance

That threaten

To consume us.

Therisa © 2018

Author's note: Maybe, I am a hopeless romantic, who dreams of a brighter future than the bleak present, we live in. Where it's so easy to be depressed and indifferent to the problems around us.

Another poem for this year’s Pride Poetry.

Men, I Honour (June 17, 2017)

So easy

To give in

To hate.

In letting

Anger rule me

Against all men.

Given

Most of my abusers/bullies

Were born

Of this gender.

And yet

Tomorrow is

Father's Day.

As I honour 

My opa* and dad.

Two men

Who's love

Have helped me.

And shoulders

I have cried

Upon.

Willing to do

Almost anything

To protect me.

Whose deaths

Have marked

Transitional moments

In my life.

In becoming

Who I am

As a woman

And a person.

Therisa © 2017

Author's note: *Opa is Dutch/German, for grandpa.

Butterfly Dreams (June 22, 2012)

lifeafterdawn.com

Oh
How I long to be
Free of this mortal prison
Which I was born
Into.

Truly
Know the freedom
Which my soul
Craves.

Unshackled
From the limitations
That genetics
And society have
Imposed on people
Like myself.

Smiling
As I spread my wings
And fly around
In your loving embrace
Knowing
I am safe.

Free
Of the diseases
Which chokes society
With it's toxicity
And lethal nature.

As
The wind blows
Over my velvety
Wings.


Therisa © 2012






Author's note: Written, during a happier period of my life, four years ago.

A Heart's Cry (February 16, 2016)

www.myfinalphoto.com

Across

The Northern expanse

My soul does travel

Seeking refuge.

The Northern wind

Blows cold

Through ones body.

Leaving it

Frozen

To the core.

White tears

Gather around

My eyes.

Before falling

To the ground

In a pile of snow.

As I wonder

Will you

Be there?

When

As I stumble

And fall.

To pick me up

Again.

Sharing my love

With you

Now and forever.

Therisa © 2016

Author's notes: Something different, from me. Will admit, I had Sarah McLaughlin running through my mind, as I wrote. Guess, you could call it, a belated Valentine's Day poem.   

Opening Up One's Eyes (November 7, 2015)

Courtesy of www.newwayministery.wordpress.com

In my mind

The old Negro gospel

"We shall overcome"

Is being sung

Before my eyes.

Looking back

More than 60 years

In the struggle

For Civil Rights

And true equality.

Of the many senseless deaths

Which mark

Our journey forward

From the darkness

Of hate and fear.

Despite

The many legal battles

Fought and won.

Still

I feel like

A third class citizen

In the country

I was born

In.

With it's rigid hierarchy

That places

Anyone

Who is different

On the outside

Looking in.

Tolerating us

Like a boorish family member

They want

To disappear.

I wish

You could experience

A week

In my shoes.

Confronting

The societal

And institutional barriers

You've erected

Over the centuries.

In keeping

Yourself

Safe

From the reality

Of my life.

Realizing

Your position of power

Is paid.

At a heavy price

By people

Like myself.


Therisa © 2015

Author's note: This is, one of two poems that I wrote for Day of Trans-Remembrance, November 20, 2015. The other one, titled, "The Crater", is in the process of having a clay ceramic statue being created, as I write this. Am hoping, I can have it painted and done, its second and final firing. Thus, being able to post together, here.


For those, who are just discovering me, I have survived numerous attempts on my life, from a family member, whom I have broken off, all ties with, since August 2007. Also, have threatened, by various individuals, who have chased me, on foot or by rode the back of my legs, with their car, while laughing, about it. As if, it was one huge joke, with me, being the punch line, to it.


And sadly, I have tried, on numerous occasions, to take my life, when my depression has reached, such dark levels, the bottom of the Black Sea is a brilliantly lit walk, in the park, by comparison. With my last attempt occurring, during the holiday season of 2010-11.

Lucky Star (January 2, 2016)

An origami paper star

 

Oh Star

On my blackest night

You shine

Like the brightest light

In the Heavens.

As you lay

Upon my lap

Your black fur

Drenched

With my tears.

Returning

The love and gentleness

I have shared.

Since

Your arrival

Four years ago.

As a rescued kitten

Who had been

Physically abused

And tossed aside.

Even now

You follow me

Around the apartment.

Like a lost soul

Seeking a place

To call

Your home.

Whether or not

You realize it

Star.

You have

Already

A place

To call

Home.

In my heart

Since

That cold November night

In 2011.

Now

Move over

And share my bed

With me.
Therisa © 2016

Photo of Star, as a kitten