Monday, 4 April 2016

What My Tat Would Be (April 4, 2016)

We
All know
A family member
Or friend
Who is tattooed.

Myself
Rather
Be pierced
Than inked.

It's the needle thing
You understand.

Just the thought
Of a thousand pricks
Into my body
Injecting ink
Leaves me
With a panic attack.

But
Should I have
It done.

It would be
More than
Mere artwork
Upon a blank canvas.

As it represents
All aspects
Of my life:

My spiritual beliefs
Transitioning
From one gender
To another
And where
I come from.

Marking my healing
From an angry soul
Ready to commit suicide
Without a second thought.

To whom
I am
Now.

A person
Struggling
To understand
The wider whole
Of my soul.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note:  As I have noted, in the poem above, I have an extreme dislikes of needles, which plays havoc, with my diabetes and its monitoring.

Should I decide to have myself, inked, it would be depicting 3 dolphins, jumping through, their own golden hoops. On a moon-lit night, over an area, in an ocean. As they transition, from one gender, to the next. Denoted by, the change of their skin colour, from a pale blue, to a soft pink (male to female).

Also, marks the healing journey, I have undertaken, over the past decade, in reaching this stage, in my life. To being, able to talk about my abusive past, without shutting down emotionally and physically, from the memories, like I have, in the past. Frustrating a few therapists, as a result.

It would be placed, in the small of my back. A placement that's called, a tramp stamp.

The dolphins and the ocean, are symbolic references, to the Earth Mother, from whom, all life has sprung forth. Also, marks my ties, to water, as I was born, on Canada's Pacific coast, in British Columbia's lower mainland, and have since, lived near water, throughout my life, whether, one of North America's Great Lakes, or a nearby creek and river, in Brampton and Ottawa, Ontario.

11 comments:

  1. I didn't know you are from the lower mainland, kiddo. In this poem, I love your awesome closing stanza. I love the "wider whole of my soul."

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  2. I have no wish for tattoos, but I can so much understand the wish to have one... it sounds so hard for you to have a scare of needles.. I love to learn about you... you are so honest with us.

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    Replies
    1. I understand you, Bjorn, and your feelings about tattoos, in respecting, your opinion. And thank you, for your very kind words.

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  3. I appreciate your honest and eloquent verse.. I am afraid of needles too!!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Sanaa, for your kind comments and sharing your fear of needles.

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    2. I hear you! But I do have a tattoo...a few shots of whiskey before and after... :-)

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  4. I liked the poem and loved your after-thought--the images of the dolphins transitioning. How perfect. It must be so hard to try to be who you are not. Victoria (darn google)

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  5. Is this something you could do with henna?
    I always wanted a tattoo but could not bring myself to do it. I used to say I am too old now then saw someone who brought their grandmother and they all got one together!

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  6. I'm with you on avoidance of tattoos - and not through fear of needles. I find such desecration of the body totally repellant. Your poem is terrific, though I wonder if it would flow better if each stanza were arranged as one line?

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  7. "A person
    Struggling
    To understand
    The wider whole
    Of my soul."
    Your words encapsulate your journey. Powerful words. Powerful and brave journey.
    Tattos? If it was like acupuncture where, I'm told, you don't feel the needles going in, maybe. Otherwise, I'm with you. But if I did, what would it be? hmmmm
    an anole -- do you know the creature? I just met it in Bermuda. A kind of small lizard that loves the sun and is a bright blue and green as it matures....more dull in color as a youthful anole. That's me :) Rejuvenated and more colorful now. Would that we could all become more and more colorful with age :)
    Thank you for this post. Powerful words -- and words that got me thinking too!
    PS: I love dolphins and the ocean :)

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