Tuesday, 24 May 2016

Sound Of Total Silence (May 24, 2016)

My biological clock
Was still-born
At time
Of conception.

Never
Able to experience
What it means
To be fully female.

In all aspect
Of life.

Only
An approximation
At a surgical best
By a scalpel.

Leaving me
Neither
Male nor female
As a result.

Rather
A third gender
Straddling
The gender divide.

In fuelling
My unanswered yearning
To give birth
And hold
Within my arms
My own child.

No amount
Of counselling
Or river of tears
Can change this.

Thus
Haunting me
To the grave.

Therisa © 2016


Author's notes: Unlike the early years of SRS, the current version, doesn't include, the transplantation of the female reproductive system, into a trans-woman. In one way, sparing the horrors that the earlier SRS recipients had to face, with organ rejection and the numerous surgeries, as a result. But, I wonder, given the advances, in stem cell research, if it's not possible to do this, without the worry of organ rejection and the need to take medication for the rest of our lives, as a result of these advances. For myself, it's too late, and I know it.

6 comments:

  1. A third gender or maybe we have none... maybe the gender curve is a continuum where we have decided to mark the averages on either side as male or female... Sometimes I look at myself and see elements that are female... yet the blessing of childbirth is not given to everyone...

    ReplyDelete
  2. For you and others who can't have children, I'm so sorry. What an emotional thing to have to live with. To have that desire and not to fulfill it....

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is poignant and deeply felt. I encourage you in your writing - keep at it. You have much to share with the world.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you for telling your story. I imagine that it is also very difficult for a trans person to adopt a child. This sort of bias is unconscionable. There are so many kids who need homes, and there are people who want children but are barred from adoption because they are trans.
    Don't even get me started on the misplaced moralization which stands in the way of furthering stem cell research!
    I'm glad to have found your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Awwwww. I love how sparsely and factually you've presented this, which takes only a tiny step to feel the pain just below. I too am glad to be reading your offerings!

    ReplyDelete

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