Just One Step Taken (May 9, 2016)

A time of growth

And change

In questioning

All aspects

Of my life.

Challenging

The pre-conceived notion

What it means

To be me

By others.

Wondering

Have I suppressed

My true sexual nature

As well?

Might

I be

Straight or bisexual

Instead of

A lesbian?

Reality is

Just thinking

Of a man

Penetrating me

Is a horrific thought

That repulses me.

Yet

The thought exists.

However

Brief

It maybe.

Still

I shudder

Just thinking

About it.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: During, this early period, of my transitioning, I was rediscovering long suppressed memories of abuse (after a very traumatic and prolonged panic attack that stripped me, of whatever mental defenses, I had left), I had endured, as a child, on the schoolyard, by various bullies; and at home, by my younger brother and mom. Leaving me, to wonder, what else, have I been suppressing, as well. Must admit, am still uncovering old memories, and the pain hasn't lessened, over the years. Although, I have learned new methods, in facing, these old experiences, like writing, and using clay, as media, to do.