Gentle falls
Frozen white tears
Upon skyward
Looking face.
Soul
Melancholy filled
Lost in thought.
Neither
Looking forwards
Nor backwards.
Just stuck
That particular
Moment in time.
Unable to advance
Confusion writ large
On face.
Suddenly
As it started
Snow stops.
As if
Someone had shaken
Life-upside down.
Therisa © 2018
Author's note: I wrote the majority of this, on November 30th, as I rode the TTC #23 bus,
from Victoria Park subway station to Golden Mile Mall, and the No Frills supermarket, there.
A 15 minute journey that I wrote this, as part of my CBT toolbox, in preventing anxiety/panic
attacks.
from Victoria Park subway station to Golden Mile Mall, and the No Frills supermarket, there.
A 15 minute journey that I wrote this, as part of my CBT toolbox, in preventing anxiety/panic
attacks.
I wish to give a very special thank you, to Lona Gynt, who beta read this poem, offering several helpful tips and constructive comments. Without these, this poem would remain incomplete and unfinished. Honestly, this poem would have joined my orphan file for incomplete/something missing poems.
13 comments:
I love the way you’ve brought together what look like fragments into a poem as if it has been broken and put back together again. The frozen white tears on a skyward looking face are so beautiful and you’ve summed up that moment in time so well: ‘As if / Someone had shaken / Life-upside down’.
Beautifully done, with an arresting conclusion.
I love this poem, love the format, the economy of expression....I especially love the face looking skyward. And the snow globe comparison. One of your best, Therisa.
Such an insightful closing. I like what it tells me about life and living, about how forever rarely sticks around, and how change can happen in the blink of a snowstorm...
A melancholy scene but a beautiful one...the confusion, receiving another's tears...when it's shaken into something (presumably) new, it breaks the reader from stillness.
That was fun.
ZQ
I like the emotion and the images here. Lots of feeling in each verse. The ending was perfect!
I love the image of the world as a snow globe. We just got shook up here in VA!
I love this poem so much. The closed in shaken world you created has really engaged me. The shaking, the refractive beauty, the challenges, the tears, again the beauty. Thank you for your kind words, it was a joy to read it, it turns me upside down, and I was honored to discuss it with you, but this is all yours girlfriend, and I 💜 it! Let’s raise a toast to the brave steps and upwards gazing, even in a capriciously shaken world.
I have always loved snow globes. Walking at night under a street lamp, is the closest I think we can come to the scene in real life. I especially like the last verse here, Therisa. The upside down-ness of life.
Great close... that imagery of the snowglobe to the strife of life is wonderfully done.
You describe quite a moment there. There are so many layers to the emotions here. Well crafted!
Life is shaken upside down far too often, isn't it?
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