I find myself
Walking
Under the shadow
Of darkness.
As old memories
Spring forth
Like an avalanche.
Cascading down
The snow covered
Mountainside.
As if
I have taken
The wrong trail
Into a forbidden area
With my ignorance.
Burying me
So deep
In the memories
Of a darker time.
Each passing second
The burden grows heavier
Upon my soul.
Am struggling
To find up
From down
With little avail.
Feeling
My inner spark
Growing dimmer
As the tears fall
Down my face.
Knowing
How easy
It would be
To surrender myself
And let everything
Go.
In my wanting
To remain
In the foetal position.
Until
My oxygen runs out
Fading out
Into the night
Forever.
But
I know
These feeling
Shall pass.
As I dig
My way out
Into the light
Once more.
Therisa © 2016
Author's note: Not exactly sure, what triggered the events of last Monday, January 18, 2016, when I found myself, buried, under a sudden wave of dark memories. Almost 36 hours later, am still struggling with the aftermath of this, as emotionally, I feel numb, and have lost all contact, with my poetic muse. If I was, to describe this, it feels like a PTSD flashback, without any of the visible images, normally, would have experienced, with one. In being, a total sensory overload of my emotions, in a three hour period, on Monday. Much like the type, I would associate, around my electrical burn, to my mouth, as a four year old.
Therisa © 2016
Author's note: Not exactly sure, what triggered the events of last Monday, January 18, 2016, when I found myself, buried, under a sudden wave of dark memories. Almost 36 hours later, am still struggling with the aftermath of this, as emotionally, I feel numb, and have lost all contact, with my poetic muse. If I was, to describe this, it feels like a PTSD flashback, without any of the visible images, normally, would have experienced, with one. In being, a total sensory overload of my emotions, in a three hour period, on Monday. Much like the type, I would associate, around my electrical burn, to my mouth, as a four year old.
6 comments:
I can feel the depth of the emotions described........there are times when everything catches up and overwhelms. But I like the note of hope towards the end, where one realizes these feelings come and go and the narrator rises towards the light again.
How wonderful to add writing poetry to other treatments that remind you to keep on keeping on. And these images--of being on a mountain and then consumed by an avalanche and finally digging out--speak to me beautifully. Those of us who have been there thank you for finding the words.
I hope that writing helps you to get out from beneath the shadow of darkness. I think sometimes just writing the words can help. When life feels like a mountain pressing down all around, hopefully there is always a bit of light on the horizon to give one faith and hope!
Thank you, Sherry. In some ways, it would have been easier to deal with a PTSD flashback, then this avalanche of dark memories. Maybe, it's a sign of my healing. One can hope.
Thank you, Susan, writing was suggested to me, by moderator of MTF group, but it took a little while, to get through my thick skull. Also, twice/week, I attend an art studio, and am learning how to sculpt clay.
Thank you, Mary, for your supportive comments. In many ways, writing allows me, to express these feelings and experiences that I have trouble vocalling, with others. Like a snapshot of my emotions, at the time of writing.
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