Depression V.2.0

Darkness

A taint

Upon the soul

Consuming all

Without mercy.

Like a drug

It enters

By injection

One dose

At a time.

Never sure

Like Russian Roulette

If your time

Is up.

As the plunger

Goes down

Emptying the ampule

Into you.

Only knowing

One day

It will be

Your turn.

Therisa © 2014

Author's note: Another poem, from my poetic morgue.

Solitude Standing (April 8, 2016)

In my mind

I hear Suzanne Vega

Singing this song

Without a backing band.

As the few happy

Childhood memories

Are reviewed

Mentally.

Wiping away

The tears

With the back

Of my soaked hand.

My heart longing

For her

To stand

By my side.

In having her

Embracing me

Within her flame lit

Tattooed arms.

Thus

Burning away

My inner darkness.

As I hear her

Whispering

These words

Into my ear:

"Into the fire

My love

Your sorrows

Shall grow

No more.

"But

Shall nourish

Your emerging self

Like a Phoenix reborn

To live and love

Again."

For only

In the darkness

Does she comes

To me

In her silhouette.

Am I 

Able to feel

Whole.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: My 2600th poems written, since March 30, 2007, when I started writing poetry, for the first time, at my desire, and not, because I had to, for school purposes.

Sigh. Not sure, where this should labelled, as a love poem, or one of a soul's longing, for completion and healing. Maybe, it's both. 

Ms Vega's Solitude Standing was the second CD, that I have ever bought, in 1987. Can remember playing, "Luka" over and over again, as I could relate to the lyrics, she had written, in this song, about child abuse, except my case, it wasn't a parent or a living-in lover, who abused me, physically, but my younger brother. And yes, I cried every time, I see the video, for this song.

Mt. Melancholy (Janaury 18, 2016)

www.emaze.com

Today

I find myself

Walking

Under the shadow

Of darkness.

As old memories

Spring forth

Like an avalanche.

Cascading down

The snow covered

Mountainside.

As if

I have taken

The wrong trail

Into a forbidden area

With my ignorance.

Burying me

So deep

In the memories

Of a darker time.

Each passing second

The burden grows heavier

Upon my soul.

Am struggling

To find up

From down

With little avail.

Feeling

My inner spark

Growing dimmer

As the tears fall

Down my face.

Knowing

How easy

It would be

To surrender myself

And let everything

Go.

In my wanting

To remain

In the foetal position.

Until

My oxygen runs out

Fading out

Into the night

Forever.

But

I know

These feeling

Shall pass.

As I dig

My way out

Into the light

Once more.


Therisa © 2016




Author's note: Not exactly sure, what triggered the events of last Monday, January 18, 2016, when I found myself, buried, under a sudden wave of dark memories. Almost 36 hours later, am still struggling with the aftermath of this, as emotionally, I feel numb, and have lost all contact, with my poetic muse. If I was, to describe this, it feels like a PTSD flashback, without any of the visible images, normally, would have experienced, with one. In being, a total sensory overload of my emotions, in a three hour period, on Monday. Much like the type, I would associate, around my electrical burn, to my mouth, as a four year old.