Tuesday, 16 August 2016

Just Another Tuesday Afternoon (August 16, 2016)

Can feel
My soul begin
The slow process
Of cycling 
Through my emotions.

As if
I stuck
In a viscous pool
Of molasses
Up to my neck.

Dropping
From a position
Of 5 steps 
Below equilibrium
Into a swan dive
Of 7 steps
Lower.

(Never able
To move 
Beyond 
Near equilibrium
From the depression side
Of the line.

(Even with
Various anti-depressant 
Cocktails
Over the years.)

Refusing 
Any new medication.

(Unless
I am placed
In a round 
Padded room.

(Wearing
A white canvas jacket
With long sleeves
That tighten
Behind my back.)

Without 
A second thought
My left hand moves
Towards the eyes.

To wipe away 
(Phantom) tears
(This time)
I have been shedding
On a constant basis
Over my lifetime.

As my eyes
Feel like
They're constantly
Crying.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: Wish I could say, this is an aberration of my daily life, but sadly, too many days are like this, for me, especially, during my semi-annual bouts of depression that strike me. 

Yesterday (August 15, 2016), my nurse practitioner and I, talked about sleep apnea and the possibility that I may have it, given all of the warning signs, I have. She suggested I get tested, with a sleep study, at one of the major teaching hospitals, here, in Toronto. Now, I have to wait one-two months, before the study happens overnight, at the hospital, and see, what the report says, about my sleep patterns.

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