Just Another Tuesday Afternoon (August 16, 2016)

Can feel

My soul begin

The slow process

Of cycling 

Through my emotions.

As if

I stuck

In a viscous pool

Of molasses

Up to my neck.

Dropping

From a position

Of 5 steps 

Below equilibrium

Into a swan dive

Of 7 steps

Lower.

(Never able

To move 

Beyond 

Near equilibrium

From the depression side

Of the line.

(Even with

Various anti-depressant 

Cocktails

Over the years.)

Refusing 

Any new medication.

(Unless

I am placed

In a round 

Padded room.

(Wearing

A white canvas jacket

With long sleeves

That tighten

Behind my back.)

Without 

A second thought

My left hand moves

Towards the eyes.

To wipe away 

(Phantom) tears

(This time)

I have been shedding

On a constant basis

Over my lifetime.

As my eyes

Feel like

They're constantly

Crying.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: Wish I could say, this is an aberration of my daily life, but sadly, too many days are like this, for me, especially, during my semi-annual bouts of depression that strike me. 

Yesterday (August 15, 2016), my nurse practitioner and I, talked about sleep apnea and the possibility that I may have it, given all of the warning signs, I have. She suggested I get tested, with a sleep study, at one of the major teaching hospitals, here, in Toronto. Now, I have to wait one-two months, before the study happens overnight, at the hospital, and see, what the report says, about my sleep patterns.