My soul begin
The slow process
Of cycling
Through my emotions.
As if
I stuck
In a viscous pool
Of molasses
Up to my neck.
Dropping
From a position
Of 5 steps
Below equilibrium
Into a swan dive
Of 7 steps
Lower.
(Never able
To move
Beyond
Near equilibrium
From the depression side
Of the line.
(Even with
Various anti-depressant
Cocktails
Over the years.)
Refusing
Any new medication.
(Unless
I am placed
In a round
Padded room.
(Wearing
A white canvas jacket
With long sleeves
That tighten
Behind my back.)
Without
A second thought
My left hand moves
Towards the eyes.
To wipe away
(Phantom) tears
(This time)
I have been shedding
On a constant basis
Over my lifetime.
As my eyes
Feel like
They're constantly
Crying.
Therisa © 2016
Author's note: Wish I could say, this is an aberration of my daily life, but sadly, too many days are like this, for me, especially, during my semi-annual bouts of depression that strike me.
Yesterday (August 15, 2016), my nurse practitioner and I, talked about sleep apnea and the possibility that I may have it, given all of the warning signs, I have. She suggested I get tested, with a sleep study, at one of the major teaching hospitals, here, in Toronto. Now, I have to wait one-two months, before the study happens overnight, at the hospital, and see, what the report says, about my sleep patterns.
