By Any Means (August 31, 2016)

Each passing second

My mind drifts

Ever so

Further away.

As my ability

To concentrate

On anything

Fades.

Once

Was able 

To do things

With ease.

Now

Am struggling

To complete

Simplest of tasks.

As I move

Through life

Like a zombie.

Intermixing

High anxiety levels 

With sleep deprivation

On the busiest day

Of the month.

Month end.

Forced

To face crowds

In the malls

And public transit.

Fighting

In the trenches

With my mental

And physical illnesses

For the bare necessity

Of life.

Knowing

Otherwise

Hunger will exist

For the cats

And I.

As I launch 

Multiple small scale

Guerrilla raids.

Whenever

My body lets me

Upon the targeted 

Supermarkets

And small stores.

Allowing myself

Several grace days

For objective

Completion.

Thus

Ending

For another month

My tortured ordeal

Of grocery shopping.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: This month marks the 9th anniversary of my most severe panic attack, which lasted over 26 hours, before I was granted lease, from it. Since then, any situation that I find myself, surrounded by people, acts as a trigger, for anxiety attacks, and if I find myself, in a prolong exposure situation, the anxiety attack, becomes a full out panic attack. Something, I never want to experience, again, having survived 2 major panic attacks and several episodes of dissociation, during this period of time.