Each passing second
My mind drifts
Ever so
Further away.
As my ability
To concentrate
On anything
Fades.
Once
Was able
To do things
With ease.
Now
Am struggling
To complete
Simplest of tasks.
As I move
Through life
Like a zombie.
Intermixing
High anxiety levels
With sleep deprivation
On the busiest day
Of the month.
Month end.
Forced
To face crowds
In the malls
And public transit.
Fighting
In the trenches
With my mental
And physical illnesses
For the bare necessity
Of life.
Knowing
Otherwise
Hunger will exist
For the cats
And I.
As I launch
Multiple small scale
Guerrilla raids.
Whenever
My body lets me
Upon the targeted
Supermarkets
And small stores.
Allowing myself
Several grace days
For objective
Completion.
Thus
Ending
For another month
My tortured ordeal
Of grocery shopping.
Therisa © 2016
Author's note: This month marks the 9th anniversary of my most severe panic attack, which lasted over 26 hours, before I was granted lease, from it. Since then, any situation that I find myself, surrounded by people, acts as a trigger, for anxiety attacks, and if I find myself, in a prolong exposure situation, the anxiety attack, becomes a full out panic attack. Something, I never want to experience, again, having survived 2 major panic attacks and several episodes of dissociation, during this period of time.
