Over the horizon
Darkening clouds gather
Thin black line forms
Ominous signs of trouble.
Past storms heralded
Sudden dramatic plummeting
Emotional barometer
Dangerously low levels
Threatening life.
First stormridge hits
Like an unmarked riptide
Abruptly overpowering.
Written poems fall
Covering soulscape
In emotionally laden words
Like sleet of ice.
Finished
Months may past
Before another poem.
Intermixed
Second stormridge arrives
Black rain clouds
Unburdened themselves
With tear stain streaks.
Unnatural
Eerie silence descends
Locked on emotional
And physical drained soul.
Hidden war
Viciously fought
Outright control of soul
Any misstep-Death.
Not all fronts
Visibly seen campaigns
War of attrition.
Internalized anger grows
Self-punishing
Appetite-ebbs and flows
With the waistline.
Interlocking walls built
Brick upon brick
Kiln fired by isolation
Mentally and physically
Fatigued soul.
Craving all levels-sleep
Unfulfilled need
Debt grows.
Bedside clock/radio
Signals time
Not days passage
In hypnotic light/dark dance.
Concept of time
Nothing more
Last meal/bathroom break
In physical world.
Praying
Ideation stays passive
Not active.
Upon active stage
Suicidal plans decoded
Static-free reception
Properly aligning
Mental receiving dish.
Everything
Becomes a weapon
Wanting pain gone.
Code Delta
Pain over.
Otherwise
Long slow recovery
Rebuilding mental bridges
Collateral from the war.
Despite this
Never reaching
True mental equilibrium
Falling just short
In recovery.
Therisa © 2018
Author’s note: How some of bouts of depressions are like, for me.
7 comments:
Depression is a mean foe who doesn’t play fair. The battleground is
the mind ... and this is what must be fortified when the tide retreats.
I recognised every single stanza here. A very good write. Hold tight!❤️
The weatherscape you have drawn of depression is very vivid, and makes the weight of it felt to the reader. So well described. I especially note the "fatigued soul", as it must be exhausting and ennervating indeed. So well written, Therisa.
You have described it so well. You know what it is like and wrote it strongly. Hang on, and keep writing.
I can only hope the writing, in its vividness and honesty, may help.
That you are able to put into words an experience so devastating is a sign of hope to me, and I trust it is for you as well.
You describe depression well. Been there. Hang on!
Your words breathe your angst/depression Therisa, right now and in past entries.
Some, maybe many, can’t deal with this, don’t know how to respond – and so switch off.
I cannot promise I can help, but I can listen – I am not afraid of your feelings. Please write if you want, my email address is on my blog.
The kindest of regards.
Anna :o]
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