Hate Isn't Religion (June 15, 2016)

Know

The words

Before you

Will anger and inflame

Some readers.

But

I don't fucking

Care.

Too long

We have lived

In a climate of fear

And hate.

As

A cold northwesterly wind

Blows across

The land.

Blinding everyone

In this bitter

Arctic vortex.

Freezing

Their logic centres

To the dangers

We face.

Pumping out

Hatred.

As if

It was well water

To drink up.

Never stopping

To think

About the consequences.

Our words

And actions

Will have

On these people

Less stable.

Until

Too late.

When

The police

Start knocking

On doors.

Informing

The surviving

Love ones.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: Before anyone goes and start attacking the first Moslem, they see, stop and think about this. Most hate crimes, against the LGBT+ community, in North America, are committed, by white Christian males.

Fitting Justice (June 15, 2016)

Please

Don't mistaken

My passivity

For acceptance

Of the Massacre.

Inside

A maelstrom of anger

And tears.

Threaten

To broil over

On the outside.

I want to punish

Those

Who unleashed

Omar Mateen

As a loaded weapon

On Sunday morning.

For teaching him

To hate himself

And the LGBT+ community

My family.

Knowing

Many straight organizations

And individuals

Must be held

Accountable.

For their words

And actions.

As part

Of the healing process

For everyone.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: In one,  of the free Toronto morning commuter papers, Omar Mateen, was described, as a troubled young man, struggling to accept his homosexuality, with his Islamic upbringing, by his parents. For their actions, his parents have a heavy burden that they owe, to the victims, their family and the LGBT+ community, at large. One doesn't, become a killer, without being trained, to do so.

On The Wings Of A Butterfly (June 15, 2016)

balancesf.com

So easy

To let

My negative emotions

Go.

Like the prevailing wind

Carrying

A coal generation station's

Toxic emissions.

Polluting the land

With my hate

And anger

Downstream.

Destroying all

With my acidic touch.

As I struggle

Against the headwinds

Of hate.

That holds

The world

In its grasp

Today.

Knowing

Within my soul

A gentle breeze stirs.

Like

A butterfly flapping

Its wings.

Giving birth

To a new wind

Of change.

One

Filled with hope

And understanding.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: For the past 3 days, I have been struggling, to come to grips, with the Orlando Massacre, emotionally, and as, a LGBT+ person. Knowing, I could have been, another stat, to add to the growing tally of LGBT+ people, who have been killed, for being ourselves.

Not exactly sure, why I choose to the butterfly, as a symbol of change and hope, Other then, it's one of the symbols that the Trans-community has adopted, as its own, for growth and metaphorsis of one's true self.

The Painful Divide (June 14, 2016)

We didn't ask

To born different

From the world.

Just are.

Coming from

All religions

And ethnic groups.

We are

Your sons

And daughters.

With whom

You openly shared

Your love and compassion

Without a second thought

As we grew up.

For some

The knowledge

Of our LGBT+ nature

Was too much.

Rejecting us

As if

We are

Carriers of death

To you.

Please understand

We haven't closed

Our hearts

To you.

Even if

You have closed

Yours.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: Since, my accidental outing of myself, to my mom, on July 1, 2006, I have tried several times, to bridge the gap, between us, to no avail. Although, she denies it, fear grips her, as her body language and eyes betrayal her lies, to me. For other members of the LGBT+ community, they are faced, with even more violent reactions, from their parents, in the form of physical attacks and threats of death, should that parent see them, again. To outright shunning of them, as if, they had already died.

Days, I Curse Myself (June 13, 2016)

On days

Like these.

Looking down

At my body

Fills me

With anger

And revulsion.

Wishing

With a simple slice

Of a knife

To change

My genitalia.

Forever.

Removing

The birth defects

Located

Between my legs.

For more years

Then I can remember

Have always

Hoped.

I would find

A magical talisman.

To change me.

Looking everywhere

I walked around

To no avail.

Turning hope

In despair

And depression.

At the thought

Of having

To endure

Another day

In this tainted body.

That society views

As being natural

For me.

Never realizing

The emotional

Physical

Or psychological

Pain.

It causes

Me.

As I hide

The knives

Away.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: Having a bad body image day.

Personal Reactions To Orlando, Fl (June 13, 2016)

It sadden me

Having to write this

After the tragic massacre

Of Orlando, Florida.

As

Conflicting emotions

Fill my soul.

Not sure

How I should vent

These strong emotions

In a positive way.

Without

Harming myself

Or other innocents

With their release.

Knowing

I must do so

To start

My own healing.

Although

Not a victim

Of this tragedy

Directly.

Yet

I do feel

So very guilty.

Having survived

My own series
Of violent

Transphobic/homophobic

Encounters.

Wondering

Why I have survived

Where they didn't.

And

Does this guilt

Ever disappear?

A question

I have

No answer

For.

Therisa © 2016

Widening The Crack (June 12, 2016)

This Friday

I did something

That's totally

Out of character.

In opening up

And sharing

My self-harming secret

And the reasons

I harm myself.

Sure

In the past

I have written

And posted poems

About this.

(As I don't

Have to see

The reader's reaction

To my dark truths.)

(Thus

Don't feel like

I'm being judged

By them.)

But

Never shared

With someone

Who wasn't part

Of my healing team.

While

Dropping my shields

Even further.

By sharing

My passive anger

Towards myself.

Which

At times

Broils over.

Wishing

I had died

In November 1974

From the electrical burns

I had suffered

As a child.

Therisa © 2016

 

Author's note: Since January 2, 2014, I have been attending, on an on/off basis, an art program, for people, who have mental illness, and are trying to break through the barriers (stigmas) associated with it. Attending session, on Monday and Friday afternoons, whenever possible, for me. The above poem and breakthrough happened after the June 10th session, with another member, from the program, as we waited together, for the 506 streetcar, to take us, on our way home.

Setting Milestones (June 8, 2016)

This morning

I awoken

To history

Having been made.

South

Of the border.

Third time

In fifty-six years

The Democratic Party

Have nominated  

Candidates.

Who have shattered

Political barriers

Once thought

Unreachable.

In 1960

It began

With John F. Kennedy

The elected Catholic

As US President.

Previously

All American Presidents

Have been

White Protestants.

Once more

The political landscape

Has changed.

In 2008 nomination

And election

Of Barrack Obama

As US President.

Who had

The audacity 

To dare dream.

For the first time

Never seen before

By Afro-Americans.

As Obama's
Second term ends

America's political landscape

Is more divided

Now.

Then

Before.

Evident

In the Republican Party

Nominating Donald Trump

As their Presidential candidate.

While

For the third time

The Democrats

Have made history.

In selecting

Hillary Rodman-Clinton

As the first female

Presidential candidate.

Whether or not

She follows

In the footsteps

Of Kennedy and Obama

Will be answered

This November.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: Sorry, for the long delay, in posting this, but, have been dealing with a nasal bug, which has left me, with little energy, for writing or wanting to be around people.

The Lonely Journey (June 8, 2016)

My life is

Not a fad

Like the latest

Reality TV show

On TLC.

Nor

Is it one

That lacks

Inner strength.

Having enduring

Endless rounds

Of conversion therapy

From society.

Free

Of charge.

Bless

Their little

Transphobic

And homophobic hearts.

As I hid

My true self

Deep

Within.

Until

The dormant seed

That is me

Started to bloom.

Bringing forth

An awareness

Whether or not

I want it.

In learning

To listen to

What my heart

And body

Are telling me.

A healing journey

In which

Numerous painful lessons

Have been forced

To confront.

Upon this path

I walk.

Spreading light

And knowledge

In a valley of darkness

And ignorance.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note:  As a child, growing up, I was exposed, to many violent acts, of a physical, verbal and psychological nature. Targeting me, due to my effeminate nature, as a perceived "boy", by society, that many people viewed me, as homosexual. Well, they were partly right, just the wrong gender.

Not Another Word (June 6, 2016)

Generation gap

noun

1. a lack of communication between one generation and another, especially between young people and their parents, brought about by differences of tastes, values, outlook, etc.

source: www.dictionary.com

You don't realize

How tired

I am.

Of hearing

People saying

This.

Who have

Never experienced

Such hatred

Or violence

Against them.

Been more than

Two generations

Since Ms. Jorgesen's

Had her SRS.

And yet

We're still

Making excuses

For these bigots'

Transphobic behaviour.

At what point

Are these intellectual giants

Stopped given

A free pass

For their ignorance based

Hatred?

Does

Another 60 years

Need to pass.

Before

Any real change

Occurs?

As more dead

And injured bodies

Are tossed

To the curbside

By society.

Destroying

Another generation

Of trans-people

In the process.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: This year, 64 years ago, that Christine Jorgensen had her SRS preformed, in Norway. Making international headlines, for doing so. And yet, there are no longitudinal studies, on trans-women health, like the W.H.O. did ,on menopausal women, with hormonal replacement therapy, in 2007. Stopping it earlier, due to higher than expected health risks (heart attacks and strokes) among the study cohort. Instead, the medical community is treating trans-women, on the basis, of what menopausal women are reporting, to their doctors.

Given recent studies that find most prescribed medication, isn't tested on women, during the clinical trail stage, women are suffering unexpected side-effects, from these meds.  Just so, the trans-women are being used, as Guinea pigs.

Never mind, no major medical school offers any courses, on trans-medicine. And only, a 2-4 hour seminar, for gay and lesbian health issues.