Through Adversity, Grows Love (February 9, 2019)

Should feel relieved

Bruce McArthur been sentenced

Twenty-five years

Before parole eligibility

At the age of 91.

For his sadistic murders

And dismemberment

Of eight men.

Whom

He had sexual involved

Before strangling them.

And yet

Within my heart

Anger and vengeance burns.

Crying out

At the injustice done

To Toronto's LGBTQ+ community.

Can't help wondering

If all of the victims

Were straight white men

The investigation been different.

Given the insitutalization

Of racism and LGBTQ+ bias

Well documented

Of this police force.

Vindictive bathhouse raid

Thirty-eight years ago

Operation Soap

That needlessly destroyed

So many closeted men

With their forced outings.

Instead of

Filling Toronto's downtown core

With destructive angry violence.

They marched

Peacefully

For justice and change.

Foundation

Of Toronto's annual

Pride parade celebrations.

Expanded

Over the years

To include

Lesbian and Transgender

Community marches.

Where love is

The message of change

Uniting the straight and LGBTQ+

The cis and transcommunities

As one.

Therisa © 2019

Winds Of Change 'R' Blowing (October 22, 2018)

I wear

The pink triangle

Not fashion statement

Some people do

Coloured ribbons.

Rather

Memorial to those

Imprisoned and killed

By Nazi Germany

And its European allies.

Taking back

Symbol of oppression/ignorance

Branding LGBTQ+ people.

Transforming it

Hope and tolerance

Educating people

We're not monsters

To shun/attack.

Especially now

Hearts hardening

Barriers raised

Deemed strangers/different

By influential society members

Xenophobia grows.

Dreaded sense-deja vu

Repeating failed lessons

Of past century

Higher death toll.

Legislating hate/ignorance

Binding laws

Society poorer.

Head hung

In shame.

Therisa © 2018

Author’s note: Too many examples of this type of hate/ignorance, like the protest against Ukrainian:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/nov/18/trans-rights-activists-attacked-with-pepper-spray-during-ukraine-march-kiev

No Compromises (July 6, 2016)

Society's paradigm

Has shifted

Once more.

Regardless

Of your religious

Or social beliefs.

In accepting

Human rights

Apply to everyone.

And not

Just for:

White

Straight

Cis-gender

Christians.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: On Sunday, July 3, 2016, the protest group, Black Lives Matter, held Toronto's Pride parade hostage, for 30 minutes, as they protested, against the inequality and exclusiveness of the Pride Parade, towards visible minorities, like Aboriginal and Asian Canadians. I wonder, what are they proposing to deal, with the rampant homophobia and transphobia, within the various Afro-Canadian communities? Having myself, experienced, first hand, these forms of hate-based ignorance, during various times of my life.

My first new poem that I have written, in almost 11 days, for me.

Personal Reactions To Orlando, Fl (June 13, 2016)

It sadden me

Having to write this

After the tragic massacre

Of Orlando, Florida.

As

Conflicting emotions

Fill my soul.

Not sure

How I should vent

These strong emotions

In a positive way.

Without

Harming myself

Or other innocents

With their release.

Knowing

I must do so

To start

My own healing.

Although

Not a victim

Of this tragedy

Directly.

Yet

I do feel

So very guilty.

Having survived

My own series
Of violent

Transphobic/homophobic

Encounters.

Wondering

Why I have survived

Where they didn't.

And

Does this guilt

Ever disappear?

A question

I have

No answer

For.

Therisa © 2016

Janus, Would Be Proud (May 26, 2016)

They call

Themselves

Christians.

Instead of

Preaching love

As their religion

Espouses.

Pure hatred

Oozes

From their frozen hearts

Like oil

From the ground.

Sitting

So smugly

In their Sunday best

Upon the church pew.

Praying
For my soul's

Salvation.

Fake smiles

Plastered

Upon their faces.

Like a poster

Wrapped around

The telephone pole.

Advertising

The latest release

From a local indie

Group.

Hate to think

How they would

Treat me.

If I had reacted

In a disrespectful manner

To them.

Guess

They don't read

Their own religious text

In having forgotten

The golden rule.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: Often wonder, how someone, who claims, to speak, in the Voice of God, can be filled, with such hatred, like many socially conservative Christians. Last time, I looked, the Christian bible wasn't filled with ignorance or pure hatred. Although, I must say, I'm not a Christian, nor pretend, to be one. Had too much religious hatred, forced down my throat, for being, a trans-lesbian.

Just The Way, It Was (May 10, 2016)

Am surprise

By your reaction to

A part of my life.

Especially

From the 1980s

And early 1990s.

Dark times

For the LGBT+ community

As we were forced

To confront several epidemics

At once.

Not all

Were related to

The emerging killer

HIV/AIDS.

Being expose

To the virulent hate

For the first time

Of transphobia

And homophobia.

Not from

Other kids

But adults.

Already have

That t-shirt

Years ago.

When

I started kindergarten

In 1975.

Along with

The PTSD flashbacks

Auditory and visual

In constant rotation

Throughout the years.

Naively

I thought

With the gaining of age

One got smarter and wiser

About the world

Around them.

Just part

Of the curse

Being

An optimistic-pessimist.

Yeah

I know

It's an oxymoron

Like military intelligence.

So sue me.

On second thought

Better not

Still have money leftover

From my disability cheque.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: Guess, the little things that most people take for granted, are those memories, which filled us, with sadness and regret.

Secret Agent Gurl (May 4, 2016)

Like a spy

On a dangerous mission

Slipping through life

Over two years

In the deepest cover.

Living the stress

Of a dual life

Straddling
The gender divide.

One foot

Firmly

In the closet.

My nerves

And senses

Hyper-vigilant.

Every knock

Upon my door
Sent hiding

My feminine self.

Knowing

Society frowns

Upon "males"

In dresses.

Something

I've learnt

The hard way

As the memories

Of being trans-bashed

Lingers.

Those drive-by slurs

Whether transphobic

Or homophobic.

Doesn't just evaporate

Into thin air

Like dry ice does.

However

I wish

They would.

Is it

Any wonder

So many trans-people

Attempt suicide.

Given

This warm reception

From society.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: From 2005, until June 2007, I walked the narrow dividing line, between male and female, when I lost my apartment, and was forced, into a woman's homeless shelter, in Toronto. As I had to physically move, to Toronto, from Brampton (about 30 minute drive, by car) , for there are no shelters there that are aimed, to help the trans-community, like Toronto has done. It's ironic, by losing my housing freedom, I have gained, the freedom to dress, in my true self, as a woman, full time, 24/7/365.


For more information, about the daily struggles that the trans-community faces, please click on the following link: http://www.vocativ.com/culture/lgbt/transgender-suicide/

Nazi Redux: North Carolina Style (April 17, 2016)

Distant horizon

Gathering storm clouds

Are forming

With a violent intensity.

As

One American state

After another

React aggressively

To the growing

Trans menace.

Who threaten

Christian family values

By their very presence

In society.

Let us

Strip them

Of all legal

And human rights.

In the name

Of God

And His Son

Jesus.

To protect

Our children

From their moral corruption.

By banning them

From any position

That interacts

With any child.

At all times

These sub-humans

Must wear

Distinctive clothing

Warning us

Of their gene pollution.

You think

I'm exaggerating

With my lines of verse

Meaning.

How I wish

I was.

But

I am not.

As North Carolina legislators

Has passed

And enacted

Many of these

Restrictive laws.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: By writing and posting this, am prepared, to receive more than my share of hate, from those people, who think, I'm a lunatic and deserve to be locked up, in a mental institution. It won't be the first, nor last time, I have received hate, aimed at me, by ignorant bigots, who think, the world begins and ends, with their religious belief, making a mockery, of the core tenets of their religion.  

As a student of history, I see too many parallels, to the road that the Nazi's policy that demonized and dehumanized any group, they felt was, sub-human, by their standards. And yes, the LGBT+ community was, one of those groups, targeted, by the Nazi.

The following link explains, some of the blowback, the law has upon, the LGBT+ community, and the reaction to it, by businesses, entertainers and the US federal government:

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/apr/12/north-carolina-anti-lgbt-law-governor-executive-order

When Life Is, Stranger Than Fiction (March 26, 2016)

Never thought

In my wildest imagination

The truth

I am reading

Could be happening

Still.

In this day

And age.

As if

We haven't left

Medieval times

With the "curing"

Of the LGBT+ community.

In the mistaken belief

Physical torture

And psychological denial

Will alter.

What genetics

And chance

Have produced.

Wondering

How many children

And adults have taken

Their own lives.

From this quackery

Disguised

As "medical treatment".

Reviving

Old memories

Within the LGBT+ community

Of a time.

When transphobia

And homophobia

Were the norm

Within the medical community.

And not

The exception.

Like it is

Painfully

Slowly

Becoming.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: The following links, are about conversion therapy, and how two different jurisdictions are dealing with it, on a practical term. One, actively taking steps, to make it illegal and stop its practice. And the other, to continue on, as if, nothing wrong has happened.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/camh-gender-identity-1.3366424

https://ca.style.yahoo.com/post/141428611505/teen-forced-to-wear-backpack-full-of-rocks-to-cure

The second question, my mom asked me, after I came out, as a trans-lesbian, did I wanted to be cured. As if, being a trans-lesbian, was a horrible disease, like cancer that needed to be corrected, at cost, to me. While, adding, as a side comment, she couldn't help me, in the paying for such "cure". Never mind, she had just destroyed, any emotional base, I had with her.

The Martyr (February 22, 2016)

www.reclaimingthemind.org

I stand

Before you.

As

A silent witness

For the crimes

You have committed

Against me.

In the name

Of your God

And religion.

In knowing

Nothing

I can

Or will say

Shall change

Your mind.

As you prepare

A pit area

For the execution

Of my sentence.

Death

By stoning.

A stranger ask:

"What crime

I'm guilty

Of committing."

To which

I reply:

"Of loving

Another woman

Instead of

A man."

First stone

Hits me

Behind my ear

Drawing blood.

The riotous crowd

Cheer their approval

As my knees buckle

Under the malicious assault.

Praying

I won't show

Any sign of weakness

For these vultures

To prey upon.

Forcing them

To realize

How spiteful and hollow

They are.

By their action.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note:  For the record, I'm a trans-lesbian, who has been brutally rejected, by my own mom. And I don't ever expect her, to change her views, towards me, as her trans-daughter.

If you seek more information, how the various countries and regions, breakdown, on same sex relationships, please click on, the following lick: 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_by_country_or_territory

Why Can't I Be You? (January 26, 2016)

www.motherjones.com

Courage:

[kur-ij, kuhr-]

noun

1.

the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.

2.

Obsolete. the heart as the source of emotion.

Idioms

3.

have the courage of one's convictions, to act in accordance with one's beliefs, especially in spite of criticism.

source: www.dictionary.com

A gentle

But sad sigh

Escapes my lips

As tears roll down

My face.

In trying

To find

That inner strength.

That you say

Shines like a beacon

Through the darkness

I have walked

In my journey

To here.

Having lost

Everything of value

To my body and soul.

For this need

Of mine.

Correcting

A genetic birth defect

Being born

Within the wrong body

Of a male.

Which

Society views

As normal.

Despite

Viewing myself

As a woman trapped

Within a male shell

Of a body.

Won't burden you

With the years

Of abuse and bullying

That has marked my life.

Since

I realized

This inner truth

At the tender age

Of four.

Within my head

The voices

Of my abusers

Ringing out.

Cursing me

With such crude

And hurtful language.

No child should

Ever know.

Fuelling their need

For power

And control.

By expressing

Their fear

At that

Which

Is different.

Sadly

As adults

These children

Haven't learnt their lessons.

As the fire

Of transphobia

And homophobia

Burns brightly

In their souls.

Consuming

Whatever remains

Of their logic centre

In a Gray hateful ash.

And yes

There times

I have felt

My life

At risk.

In spite

Of this fact

I move forward

In my healing pilgrimage.

Uniting my body

With the feminine soul

I was born

Within.

Thus

Completing

This cycle.


Therisa © 2016

Author's note: By the age of twelve, I had attempted, at least 3 different times, to end my life, which I have never told my parents, about. My last 3 years of high school, was marked, by a nightly visit to the kitchen, where I tried to pierce my chest, with one of the meat knives, but I lack the strength to push it, into my chest cavity.


After coming out, accidently, to my mom, over the 2006 Canada Day long weekend, she told me:


"Hell would have to freeze over, and I would have to, come crawling on my hands and knees, begging her, for forgiveness, before she would think about it."


Needless, to say, I was thrown for a dark suicidal depression that lasted, the entire month of July. Nearly costing my job, as a result. With the help and support of a very special friend, I wouldn't be here, to share this, with the world. Thank you, Z.


The title of this poem, is a reference to the British Goth group, The Cure, who's dark and melodic tunes have helped me, during my bout of dark depression. Also, refers to my needing to live my life, as a woman, who is...simply elegance.