Mother's Day 2019 (May 13, 2019)

Damn my emotions

Cursing the tears.

Realizing

Am triggering myself

Thinking about dad.

Thought

I had gotten past

This healing stage.

Looking back

So stoic

About publicly sharing

His emotions.

Having been told

Suck it up

When displaying

My pain.

Doing so

Is denying

Who I am.

Wiping away tears

As my vision

Grows too bleary.

And yet

He stood by

When struggling

With depression/anxiety

Throughout my schooling years.

Bitter mental laughter

Fills my mind

As I think

About Sunday’s irony.

Mother’s Day

And anniversary

Of his birth date.

There’ll be

No card

Nor gift giving.

Never mind

Sitting down

For dinner.

These raw emotions

Have never healed

From mom’s

July 1, 2006 rejection

Of me.

I’ve tried

Numerous times

To meet her demands

Without betraying myself.

And yet

Her fear and distrust

Remains.

A terminal cancer

For our parent/child

Relationship.

Therisa © 2019

Author’s note: For 3 days, I struggled with this, unable to write anything for this poem. As my emotions took me, on an emotional roller coaster ride that shook me, to my core. I’ve not feel the depth of emotions like this, since my opa’s death on my 14th birthday, 35 years ago. Yes, I’m dating myself, with this admission.

The Painful Divide (June 14, 2016)

We didn't ask

To born different

From the world.

Just are.

Coming from

All religions

And ethnic groups.

We are

Your sons

And daughters.

With whom

You openly shared

Your love and compassion

Without a second thought

As we grew up.

For some

The knowledge

Of our LGBT+ nature

Was too much.

Rejecting us

As if

We are

Carriers of death

To you.

Please understand

We haven't closed

Our hearts

To you.

Even if

You have closed

Yours.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: Since, my accidental outing of myself, to my mom, on July 1, 2006, I have tried several times, to bridge the gap, between us, to no avail. Although, she denies it, fear grips her, as her body language and eyes betrayal her lies, to me. For other members of the LGBT+ community, they are faced, with even more violent reactions, from their parents, in the form of physical attacks and threats of death, should that parent see them, again. To outright shunning of them, as if, they had already died.