Long Weekend (August 9, 2018)

Are these

From depressed soul

Self-pitying words

Appearing before you?

Need/want

For physical release

Gets stronger

Each waking hour

Waterfall of tears.

Growing presence

Soulful miasma

Slowly creeps forward

Soulscape edges.

Cautiously

Testing boundaries

Hint of weakness

Exploiting-gleeful eagerness.

Opening up

Like cancerous growth

Metastasizing soulscape.

Released Hellhounds

Nipping expose tendons

Toxic auditory flashbacks

Mental soundtrack.

Reliving memories

Best deleted

Without thought.

Hell on Earth.

World reduced

To my apartment

Invisible prison walls

Contain me.

Knowing

It's only starting

Before storm’s eye

Is reached.

Whether

Days or weeks away

Crisis climax

Darkest moment

Of depressive episode.

Literally

Life or death

Shall I fall

From grace.

Therisa © 2018

Author's note: Since the August Civic long weekend (August 5-7), I have felt myself, mentally declining. Leaving my apartment, when I am forced to. Am hoping this isn't the start of my latest bout of depression.

Emotional Roller Coaster (September 19, 2016)

Can feel it

Coming over me

Like a Siren

It calls.

A darkness

Forever

Embedded

In my soul.

Who's

Corrosive touch

Is resistance

To all known treatment.

Except 

Death.

Wiping away

Tears of frustration.

A dark brown trail

Streak my cheeks

From those

I missed.

As concussive waves

Explode

Over my body.

Leaving me

Weak.

Emotionally

And physically.

Wanting

To runaway

And hide

From everyone.

Caring not

Am damaging

Myself

By doing so.

Awaiting Hypos'

Calming embrace

That never

Seems to arrive.

When

I wait it.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: Starting Friday, September 16, 2016, until today, I have been riding an emotional roller coasters, as my mood has swinging drastically, between bouts of crushing depression and normalcy, for me. I haven't experience anything like this, since I was taking anti-depressants, several years ago. And I refuse to start my 9th anti-depressant/anxiety medication, which my family doctor was given, during a mini-psyche assessment, four years ago. Been there, done that, and got the ugly t-shirt, to prove it.