Scatterbrain (January 17, 2019)

It's 2:28 am

Another night

Of broken sleep.

Chaotic negative thoughts

Running everywhere

No clear direction

Or any sign of ending.

Questioning everything

To breakdown

These negative thought

Reinforced loops

Holding me captive.

Running raggety

As signs of cold/flu

Mounting new offensive

Over my abused body.

Tissue boxes decimated

With alarming ease

By my bedside.

Wondering

How many trees

Been sacrificed

For this.

Paper waste grows

Into plastic containers

And finite space

Is overflowing.

Each nasal explosion

Venus and Squeak hide

Into parts unknown.

And yet

Perfectly allowable

Sneezing cat germs

All over me.

Traitors!

Talk about

Double standard.

As I count

Number of days

Til winter’s end.

Therisa © 2019

A Day of Blessing (July 14, 2016)

Like a bolt

Of lightening

Out of the blue.

It happened

To me.

Never expecting

To find support

Like I did

Today.

But

Given the darkness

I have been travelling

For the past month.

I accept this

As a blessing

From the Goddess

Herself.

Gracing me

With light

At a dark moment.

Someone

Who I know

Casually

From the local library.

Mistakenly 

He thought

I was Intersex.

Instead of

A transsexual

(Male to Female),.

Although

We do face

Many similar battles

In our struggles

For acceptance.

Think

My gentle explaining

That Intersex used

To be known 

As Hematite 

Helped out.

As we parted

He shook my hand

And told me:

"Never let them

Stop you

In your dream".

As I thanked him

Before parting

Our ways.

A huge reversal

Of what normally

Happens

To a trans-person.

One

Am grateful for

Given the stressful day

It has been

For me.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: On July 13th, my apartment was sprayed for cockroaches, and I was forced to relocate the cats, for least 6 hours, in another part of my apartment building. Not to mention, all of the prep work that needed to done, to get my apartment ready, which could only happen, in the final hours, before the spraying was scheduled, to happened. Throughout all of this, the cats were real troopers, and helped to ease some of the stress, I was experiencing, from this departure of my normal routine.

Aah (April 29, 2016)

T

To my left

I see

Your curled up form

Sleeping

On my backpack.

Looking

So angelic

I hate to

Disturb you

Star.

Searing

This sight

Into my memory.

As a smile

Graces my face

At this "Kodak moment".

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: Sorry, for the late posting, but life, got in the way, here.

My Purring Panther (February 26, 2016)

Star, as kitten, on my dirty laundry.

Not sure

Why our paths crossed

As they have

Over 4 years ago

Star.

Except

Your very presence

Has offered me

A very rare gift

Of love and compassion.

From someone

Who has known

The toxic touch

Of being abused

And abandoned.

Of how

On your first night

You hid

Under the toilet cistern.

Scared

Out of your mind

With fear.

As I laid

A trial of kibble

From the bathroom

To the centre

Of my heart.

Little

Did I know.

The healer

Would become

The one

Who is

Being healed.

As I watch you

Over the months

Grow and heal

Into your true self.

Greeting me

Every time

I enter

Our shared apartment.

With your deep purr

And a gentle kiss

For me.

Forever leaving

Your paw print

Upon my beating heart

As you snuggle

Against me.

While

Laying down

To rest

For the coming day.

As I give you

Star

My daily thanks

For you're being

A part of my life.

Therisa © 2016

Author's notes: Am sorry, I don't have any decent photo, which shows Star, at her true self, as she is, extremely camera shy, whenever, I attempt to get a photo of her mature self, beyond the few of her, as a kitten.

Putting My Pen Down (January 27, 2016)

Um

Excuse me

Star

This is not

Your bed.

But

My writing book

You're claiming

For yourself.

As I

Madly

Write down

My scribbles 

Upon its pages.

That few people

Can read

Without an atomic microscope

To magnify

My handwriting.

Honestly

Do you mind

This small space

Of mine

Star?

When

You have

My entire apartment

At your disposal.

To do

As you

Please with.


Therisa © 2016

Author's note: Sigh. What can I say, cats rule. Star, unlike Venus and Squeak, who love to use my writing books, as a scratchpads, Star, only wants to sleep on it, while I am writing, during the night's late hours, into the wee hours of the morning.

Occupation Hazard Of Being Human (January 12, 2016)

www.en.yibada.com

In my mind

Numerous voices

Are sparring

For my attention.

And yet

I find myself

Drifting

Ever so slightly

Into "no man's land".

Retreating

From reality

Into my own protective space.

Where

No one can

Touch me.

Being around people

For most of the day

Drains my soul

Of its spark.

Like a battery

Left on

For too long

I crash.

Without

The necessary energy

For my eyes

To flash:

 

"Tilt".

As seen

In cartoons.

Needing

An hour or two

With my cats

Or rest.

To recharge

Once more.


Therisa © 2016




Author's note: Not sure, if I should feel blessed or cursed, in being, an introvert, who suffers from anxiety/panic attacks, in crowded situations, like rush hour traffic, on the public transit. The simple act of taking public transit, during rush hour, takes on new dimension, even after, I have taken CBT, at a local hospital, for my body and soul, are totally drained of energy, as I need to release the shock, and recharge. It's not unusual, for me, to let several streetcars, bus or subway trains, to go by, before I feel comfortable, in boarding one. Even with, a companion, along for the ride, with me.