As if
We know
What acceptance
Really means.
Without
Having a clue
About the level
Of our ignorance
For this word.
I say this
As someone
Who has experienced
This first hand.
What hate
Really means
And does
To a person.
On a physical
Psychological
And emotional level.
Blaming myself
For causing
This destructive energy
Around me.
Questioning
Everything
About myself.
To the point
I hated myself
With a passion
Corroding my soul
In toxic poison.
As Death
By suicide
Becomes
The only solution
For this.
Even now
Am slipping down
Into this growing despair
Of darkness.
Just wanting it
To end
One way
Or another.
Therisa © 2016
2 comments:
Oh, oh. Earlier today I listened to Tori Amos' "Crucify" and "Winter" and now this. So much pain. Your words could be catharsis for those carrying internalized hatred, helping them to be tender toward themselves.
How I wish it was so, for me, Susan. Right now, have Ms. Amos's "Crucify" going through my head, as she sings, about her experience, of being raped. Never touched sexually, but many of the same feelings are shared, with her.
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