This Is Me (February 2, 2016)

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Identity

noun, plural identities.

1. the state or fact of remaining the same one or ones, as under varying aspects or conditions:

The identity of the fingerprints on the gun with those on file provided evidence that he was the killer.

2. the condition of being oneself or itself, and not another:

He began to doubt his own identity.

3. condition or character as to who a person or what a thing is; the qualities, beliefs, etc., that distinguish or identify a person or thing:

a case of mistaken identity; a male gender identity; immigrants with strong ethnic identities.

4. the state or fact of being the same one as described.

5. the sense of self, providing sameness and continuity in personality over time and sometimes disturbed in mental illnesses, as schizophrenia.

6. exact likeness in nature or qualities:

an identity of interests.

7. an instance or point of sameness or likeness:

to mistake resemblances for identities.

source: www.dictionary.com

November 15, 2016

Will mark

My 11th anniversary

Of my acceptance

For whom

I am.

Having spent

Over 28 years

In hiding.

Filled with shame

Fear and self-loathing

Since August 1977.

(As my family live

In a small rural

Ontario village

At the time.)

A vain attempt

To protect myself

From the other kids

Who sought

To attack me.

Both verbally

And physically.

Turning

Their negative energy

Inwards

In a corrosive manner.

Where

Life has no meaning

Beyond death

And release.

Until

One day

In early 2005

I stopped suppressing

Myself.

Letting out

This timid child

Into the light.

Offering her

A chance to grow

And heal.

In realizing

After a few months

Of cross dressing

This wasn't me.

I need more

In my life.

To fill

This huge hole

In my soul.

Standing over

My dad's grave

On November 15, 2005.

I found myself

Able to release

This 10 tonne elephant

From my shoulders.

As tears of relief

Streaked my face

In  the late morning mist

On an unusually mild

Mid-November day.

As I shared

With my dad's ashes

My true self.

By taking 

The first steps

In my journey

Of real healing

As a woman.

With small steps

Towards the ending

Of my abusive

And destructive past.

In the rebirth

Of myself

As Therisa.

Regardless

What others think

Whom I am.

I'm

A

Woman.


Therisa © 2016

Author's note: The hardest journey, one will ever undertake, is to look deeply, into ones soul and make the necessary changes, for true healing to occur. Even if, this means, you must go against the flow that Society views, as normal. Knowing, you'll face fierce opposition, based upon, fear fuelled ignorance around anything that's different.