The Pull Of Darkness (June 16, 2016)

Can feel it

Flowing

Throughout

My body.

Self-doubt.

Questioning

My very sanity

Of the steps

I am taken.

As echoes

Of past abusers

Shout

At deafening levels

In my mind.

With homophobic

And transphobic

Thoughts.

Degrading

My entire life.

As if

It has no value

Worth saving.

And yet

I know

Differently

Without thinking.

To do

Otherwise

Is Death.

Psychically

And physically.

To transition

Is the first

And most important

Step.

Of my holistic

Healing

For my body

And soul.

In breaking

Those strangling chains

Around me.

That almost

Claimed my life

A decade

Ago.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: July 1, 2016, will mark, a decade, since I came out, to my mom, and the final breaking of the abusive hold, she had, over me.

Untitled (May 13, 2016)

You can

Call me

Nuts.

When

I say

Can hear them

Clearly.

As if

It was yesterday

They spoke

Their toxic words

To me.

And not

Decades

Ago.

Wish

I knew

Why I retain them

Over happier

Encouraging messages

Throughout my life.

Building lofty spires

Of happiness

And encouragement.

Instead of

The numerous graves

Pockmarking

My soulscape

I have dug.

Many

Still unfilled.

Those filled

Contain parts

Of my self-confidence

And self-esteem.

Without

Any ceremony

Or marker

Left behind.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: Wrote this, on my way, to Friday's art program. Have been struggling with my emotions, lately, and a rising need to isolate myself, from the world, in all manners.