Saturday, 28 December 2019

Forbidden Knowledge (December 16, 2019)


How do I tell you
Am so tired
Of constant lying
Who I am.


Filling my soul
With half-truths
That eat away
At me.


Like drops of acid
Destroying my soulscape
Word by word
From your mouth.


Until
Nothing is left
To grasp on
As my own.


This mortal sin
I have committed
In seeking
Life's meaning.


Knowing
There's no turning back
To where
I've come from.


Damning myself
By existing
For all eternity
In your judging eyes.


Where the cure
Is a price
Worse than death
For my disease.


No matter
How I justify this
On a personal level
To myself.


This mortal sin
I have committed 
In seeking
Life's meaning.


As tears flow
Blinding my eyes
To the ones 
Who matter the most.


Drowning
Within a mælstrom
Of self-loathing
And anger.


A vicious circle
That knows
No end
Until death.


As my body
Lays before you
For that final time
Before eternity.


This mortal sin
In seeking
Life's meaning.


Therisa © 2019


Author's note: There are times, I need to release my inner Gothic child. This is one of those times.
Doesn't help, I had Evanescence's My Immortal, as an earwig, for Sunday and today, in my mind. 

Before you ask, I'm not feeling suicidal, or anywhere need being so. Sometimes, a
poem/song forces its way, on to paper. Only stopping when fully written, regardless of
the quality of the writing.

Just Imagine (December 11, 2019)

We talk
About ending hate
In building bridges
Between communities.

And yet
These deaths
Continue to escalate.

Where the local news'
Lead story
Another senseless shooting
By hate filled fanatics.

Seeking a broader audience
To spew their toxicity
In drawing new martyrs
For their cause.

At what point
Do we stand up
Striking back
With love
To their hate?

Reclaiming
Our neighbourhoods
One block - at a time.

Where neighbours 
Don't live in fear
Of a car's backfiring
Or firecrackers exploding.

Is the death
Of a loved one
By gunfire.

Call me
A dreamer
Wanting to end
This hateful violence.

Maybe
One day
It will.

Until then
Shall mourn
Each lost life
As a family member.

Therisa © 2019

Author's note: My reaction to the hate-based mass shooting, in Jersey City, NJ (December 10, 2019). I had John Lennon's song, Just Imagine, playing in my mind, as I wrote this.

14 White Roses (December 7, 2019)

In my mind
A handbell rings 
Fourteen times.


*Geneviève Bergeron (1968-89)*


Each peal
A different resonance
Ending a woman's life.


*Hèléne Colgan (1966-89)*


On a cold
Wintery autumn
Afternoon.


*Nathalie Croteau (1966-89)*


At Montreal's
École Polytechnique
On December 6, 1989
By a lone male gunman.


*Barbara Daigneault (1967-89)*


Whose name
Shall never speak
Again.


*Anne-Marie Edward (1968-89)*


Historically
Canada's worst mass shooting.


*Maud Haviernick (1960-89)*


For 3 decades
His misogynistic anger/hate
Has helped fuel
The Incel movement.


*Maryse Laganière (1964-89)*


Who blame women
For their dating failures
And personal lives.


*Maryse Leclair (1966-89)*


Remember my anger
On the 1st anniversary
Of the Montreal Massacre
March organizers told men
Not to come.


*Anne-Marie Lemay (1967-89)*


I was studying
For my first December exams
At Carleton University
In the nation's capital
Ottawa, Ontario.


*Sonia Pelletier (1961-89)*


Understanding 
This anger
And frustration
Being released
By these grieving women.


*Michèle Richard (1968-89)*


As Montreal officials
Have taken 3 decades
To admit this stark reality.


*Annie St-Arneault (1966-89)*


The École Polytechnique deaths
Were a gender-based attack
Against women
Particularly feminists.


*Annie Turcotte (1969-89)*


In unveiling
A new plaque
At the memorial
Before the campus.


*Barbara Klucznik-Wdajewicz (1958-89)*


As 14 Canadian universities
From Newfoundland and Labrador
To British Columbia
Honour these women
With memorials.


Therisa © 2019  


Author's note: Please forgive me, as I've struggled emotionally, to write this. Especially, as this yearSAD, has been the worse case, since 1990, when I started studying at Carleton Universty, in
Ottawa, Ontario. Canada's national capital. That year was a very wet and dark autumn.


The anger that I felt, at the time, was the frustration of being held accountable for
something, which I wasn't responsible for a single gunman action. Over time, I've realized
that this anger, wasn't aimed at me. Rather, at the way society treats women, in general,
second class citizens. Often, having men, in positions of authority.


Unlike the United States, Canada's federal government passed gun control legislation and
enacted handgun and long gun registries. Although, over the years, due to political reality
and ideological dogma, the system wasn't kept up to date, with the release of new weapons.
Also, the Conservatives, under PM Stephen Harper, scrapped the long gun registry, after
the province of Quebec, lost its legal fight, in 2012, to keep the long gun registry information.


During the recent Throne Speech, to open this session of Parliament, re-elected PM
Justin Trudeau promised to introduce legislation that would ban and buy back
assault weapons, like the Ruger "Mini 12" semi-automatic gun, used during
the Montreal Massacre. Previously, it was allowed to slip through the legislation,
with a 5 bullet clip, as the only restriction.


Personally, there is no need for these weapons of death and destruction, in the urban
areas, like the cities of Toronto, Vancouver, or Montreal. Although, there may be some
justification for distance rural areas, for protection against wildlife and hunting.


The real details of the seriousness of the Trudeau government, will be seen in the
language of the proposed bill. And how willing they are to fight for its passage
through the House and Senate. Given the changes in the Senate, which has
removed all political party ties, between the two chambers of Canada's parliament,
with the introduction of independent Senators.


The title for this poem, is a reference to the 14 white roses, placed at memorial,
honouring the women, who died on December 6, 1989.

For more information, please click on the following link:: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%89cole_Polytechnique_massacre

Wishful Dreaming (November 24, 2019)

Silence grows
Like a metastasizing cancer.

Every day
Struggle for words
Slipping furthermore
Into darkness.

Leaden skies
Fill horizons
With soul-destroying
Numbness.

So easy
Release control
Surrender to madness.

Knowing
Azrael's blade
Brings final closure.

Some call me
Coward taking
Easy way out.

I ask:

Where were you
When I needed support
Countless times
Beaten up?

Attacking
My gender orientation
And sexuality.

Holy affront
To your religious values.

Laughing hyena
Leading pack
Of rabid children
Attacking me.

That's where.

Sighing 

Is it too much
To ask for
Inner silence?

Laying bare
Those abusive memories
Triggers stripped.

Embracing 
An expanding sense
Of self-worth and tranquility.

Something
You'll never understand
In a century of Sundays.

Therisa © 2019

Author’s note: How depression is experienced by me, and some of the events that have caused it.

Tuesday, 19 November 2019

DoTR: Building Hope (November 19, 2019)

Emotionally
We gather
On November 20th
Day of Transgender Remembrance.

Through the darkness
Candles are lit
Naming our murdered
Brothers and sisters.

Wanting
But realistically knowing
The killings won't stop
Until society's attitude changes.

Treating everyone
With respect and dignity.

Regardless
Of gender identification
And ethnicity.

Call me
A delusional dreamer
For believing this.

In leaving ignorance
And prejudices behind.

Therisa © 2019

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