School year
Is starting up
And I find myself
Looking backwards.
Wondering
What if
I had gone
To my senior prom.
As
Whom I am
A girl
Dressed in
A formal dress.
While
Alphaville's
"Forever young"
Is played
As the last song.
Alas
This isn't
The reality
Of what happen.
Instead
I stayed home
Conflicted
Between perception
And reality.
Of
Having to wear
To a suit
If I wished
To attend.
Might
As well been
Wearing a straitjacket
Is how I feel
About having to
Wear a suit.
Sigh.
Therisa © 2012
Author's note: During the 1980's, HIV/AIDS was emerging, in the general public, as a dead disease that killed many members of the LGBT+ community. As a teenager, struggling with gender identity, in this time period, there was no resources available to me, like there is, today. I felt totally isolated and a freak, for feeling trapped, in the wrong body, despite, what everyone else told me, contrary to my thoughts. In the Ontario school systems, there was no mention of being trans or bisexual, for Phy. Ed teachers, only mentioned gay and lesbians, during the health unit, along with various methods of birth control. Sadly, when they did mention the gays/lesbians, they did so, uneasy, making cruel comments and jokes, about them.
Maybe, some day, I will be able to have my prom moment, and not feel shamed, for wanting to express my inner self, to the world. Until then, I can only dream, what that night have been like, for me.
