Another Sleepless Night (August 26, 2018)

It's 2:20 am

Sunday morning

Brain stuck

Operating overdrive.

Unable to disengage

Joining body

Badly needed rest

It screams for.

Sleep deficit mounts

Each passing second

Am awake.

Sleep hygiene

Distance rumour

Among synapses

Exchanging current.

Adamantly refuse

Adding another drug

In medicated body.

Have enough

Interacting

Own unique way

Screwing things up.

Without adding

Any possible fear

Of an addiction

On top of this.

Thank you

Very much.

Sigh.

Therisa © 2018

Author’s note: Finally, fell back asleep around 6 am, after a 4 hour interruption.

Control Struggle (August 4, 2018)

So easy

Meds before me

For long goodbye.

Fighting to keep

Daily suicidal ideation

Static filled reception.

A 24/7/365 fight

Without relaxation.

No matter

How exhausted

Pain filled

I am

Refusing

Trial and error

Guinea pig

For right medication.

Ultimate act

Of vainglory/hubris

Better living

Through chemistry.

Eight years experimentation

Various drugs

And cocktail mixture.

Tears flow

Cursing side effects

Life interrupted.

Prisoner-in own body

Better off depressed.

Rejecting ninth med

Older generations

More health concerns.

Therisa © 2018

Author's note: On Friday, I read about the death of Zombie Boy (Rick Genest), which Montreal police had ruled suicide. Despite unanswered questions surrounding the death that the local coroner is investigating. Realizing, how easy it is for me, to lose control for 1 minute and pay a fatal price.

The following article link has phone numbers to contact, in Canada, if you need someone to talk.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/zombie-boy-dead-1.4772315