So easy
Meds before me
For long goodbye.
Fighting to keep
Daily suicidal ideation
Static filled reception.
A 24/7/365 fight
Without relaxation.
No matter
How exhausted
Pain filled
I am
Refusing
Trial and error
Guinea pig
For right medication.
Ultimate act
Of vainglory/hubris
Better living
Through chemistry.
Eight years experimentation
Various drugs
And cocktail mixture.
Tears flow
Cursing side effects
Life interrupted.
Prisoner-in own body
Better off depressed.
Rejecting ninth med
Older generations
More health concerns.
Therisa © 2018
Author's note: On Friday, I read about the death of Zombie Boy (Rick Genest), which Montreal police had ruled suicide. Despite unanswered questions surrounding the death that the local coroner is investigating. Realizing, how easy it is for me, to lose control for 1 minute and pay a fatal price.
The following article link has phone numbers to contact, in Canada, if you need someone to talk.
