Grasshopper Literature (May 9, 2019)

There are days

My soul - a blank canvas

Awaiting an artist’s

Gentle strokes.

As I struggle

For semblance of order.

Others can understand

My mental chaos

Filing system.

Jumping

From one thought

To another.

With an intuitive ease

Often leaves people

Confused.

Never realized

‘Til pointed out.

Just imagine

My poor university profs

Decoding this.

Therisa © 2019

Author’s note: The last stanza, is a reference to my ability, to jumble the order of my thoughts, whether written, or speaking them. Yes, it’s part of my learning disability, which has costed me, valuable marks on exams, essays and tests. Often wonder, why this wasn’t pointed out to me, during my high school years, by my various teachers, As they knew, I was heading for university, with the courses that I had selected.

Beyond The Edge of Understanding (July 22, 2018)

See the words

Staring before me

On the printed page.

And yet

Don't understand them

Like someone wrote

In a foreign language

Instead of English.

Want to scream

In abject frustration

Lack of comprehension.

Cursing my inheritance

My parents’ genes

That blessed me

With this gift.

Mind wanders

As the anger grows

Berating myself.

Bleeping moron.

Knowing

Having read and understood

More challenging literature.

Can hear

The accusations

Already.

Lazy

Slacker

Doesn't apply themself

Needs to do more.

Is it

My fault

I have troubles

Focusing on the task

At hand?

A tear or two

Escape my eyes

As I walk away.

Silently

Swearing

At my learning disabilities.

Therisa © 2018

Author’s note: Early 1984, I was officially identified, as having multiple learning disabilities. Prior to this, I had teachers stopping of calling me, stupid. Although, I did have one teacher call me, lazy on the report card and failed, because of my learning disabilities, in grade 1.

Looks Are Deceiving (April 4, 2018)

With each deleted letter

She typed

On the computer

Her ire does grows

As the bitter flow

Of self-anger

And hatred course

Through her soul

Like a corrosive acid.

Destroying

Whatever self-confidence

And self-esteem

With each recalled

Memory.

Relentlessly teased

And ridiculed

On her writing skills

And spelling ability

By teachers and students.

Labelling her

Slow and lazy

At her incomplete answers

To her assign

Written core work.

And yet

If they asked

The same question

Verbally.

She dazzled them

With her detailed response

To the questions

Before her.

A faint ghost

Of a smile

Graced her face.

In recalling

One particular conversation

With a high school teacher

Regarding her planned

University study.

Questioning her ability

To understand and process

An entirely new language

And grammar system.

The teacher’s words

Waved before her

Like a matador’s cape

Inciting the hurt bull

As it charges forward.

Refusing to believe

Or to listen

To the words

That have boxed her

Inside a protective

But restrictive bubble.

Ironically

The truth is

It was English

And not Russian

That tripped her up.

As she struggled

With the essay

Driven courses.

Earning her dad’s

Undivided pride

And love.

In accepting

From the university president

Her B.A. degree.

Therisa © 2018

Author’s note: For the record, I have been moved in and out of special education classes, starting in the fall of 1975, when I started kindergarten, in a rural southern Ontario village. Until the end of my university classes, in August 1994, when I wrote my last exam to gain my BA, from Carleton University. During the school year of 1983-84, I was officially diagnosed, as having multiple learning disabilities, which affected all aspects of my life. The irony here, is the school officials told my parents, not to share the content of the education assessment with me.

Afraid, I would use it as a justification to slack off, in my studies. Never realizing, the validation that the report gave me, in regards to the earlier report cards and experiences, which scarred me. I wasn’t a lazy student, but one that the school system was failing to meet my educational needs.

If you asked me, what does a typical person with learning disability looks like, I would have to give you, a blank look. As there is no one look physically to describe a person with a learning disability.

For more information about learning disability, please click on the following link: https://ldaamerica.org/types-of-learning-disabilities/

One Size Fits All (April 14, 2017)

You don't see me

As I struggle.

Swimming

Against the stream

I must follow

Like a spawning Salmon

For my education.

.

Trying to fit

My square peg

Into your circular hole

Without destroying

Myself.

The nightly tears

Of frustration

And anger.

Of a blank page

Before me

To be marked

With red ink.

Your snide comments

Calling me:

"Lazy

Needs to apply

Their self

To the task

At hand."

Working harder

Then the other students

To finish 

The assigned work.

Feeling betrayed

At the year end

Report card.

Bitter tears flowing

Upon seeing

Failure

For having

A learning disability.

Therisa © 2017

Author's note: In June 1977, my grade one teacher failed me, as a result of my various learning disabilities. Along with, 6 other students, in my class. Needless to say, her contract wasn't renewed, for the following year, by the local school board. Throughout my academic career, I have been, in and out, of special educational classes, due to various reasons (learning disabilities to the gifted program).

In Ontario, under provincial law, a school (whether, at the elementary or secondary level) can reject a transferring student's request for support, although, they have documented evidence when transferring, within the same school board. Regardless, of the fact, the learning assessment, was paid for, by the taxpayers of that same board. Never mind, if they are coming, from another school board.