Showing posts with label Feeling unworthy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Feeling unworthy. Show all posts

Wednesday, 23 March 2016

Going Beyond The Tears (March 23, 2016)

Was born
During the 1970s
Came of age
In the 1980s.

During my lifetime
Have witnessed
A huge change.

In how
We address
Mental illness
As a society.

For I speak
From personal experience
In my own battle
With it.

Previously
People used code words
To describe depression
Like feeling sad
Or being overly emotional.

Even
My own dad
Told me
As a child:

"To suck it
Up".

And yet
Despite of this
People are
Still scared.

Whenever
I started talking
About my suicidal past
Over the past decade.

As if
By doing so
They're triggering me
To commit this act
Before them.

Never realizing
I needed to share
This dark secret
Of mine.

Until now
That is.

For this
Am eternally grateful
For this one person
Eleni Pinnow.

Who broken
Through society taboo
Over discussing
This.

By stating
The truth.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: The following link, is Ms. Pinnow, talking about her lost and moving forward, with her life, after her sister's suicide, in February, 2016.


Myself, I have attempted suicide, several times, before the age of twelve. My last attempt, occurred over the holiday season of 2010-11, which I had various vials of medication, lined up, before me, to take, before planning to drown myself, in the bathtub. Not sure, what stopped me, whether, it was Venus and Squeak (Star hadn't entered my life, yet), or something else. For I didn't open those vials, that stood before me. Rather, put them back, where I, normally keep them, in a bedside drawer, away from the cats, extreme heat and dampness.

Wednesday, 9 March 2016

A Crippled Soul (March 9, 2016)

stud7.tumblr.com

A sad sigh
Escapes
From her lips.

As
She looks over
The numerous responses
To her poem
About coming out.

Questioning
Her eyes.

As if
She was seeing things
On the computer screen
Before her.

For years
Those
Around her
Been expressing
Their support.

Despite this
She's left feeling
Weird and uncomfortable
With this outpouring.

Almost like
She's waiting
For the other shoe
To drop.

And
The abuse
To start
Once more.

Even though
That part of her life
Is years away.

She can
Still feel
Its destructive echo
Within her soul.

Just wanting
To be normal
Like everyone else.

In being free
From this harmful baggage
Of her past.

And not
This emotional cripple
Who's breaking down
In a public library
Like a little baby.

Therisa © 2016

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