Friday, 30 September 2016

Voice Of Darkness (September 30, 2016)

I can hear them
As if
It was yesterday.

And not 
Thirty-five years

Their 10 year old voices
Calling me:

"A f--king wuss."


"A f--king sissy
Who loves 
To s--k cocks."

As their blows
Upon my body.

Not caring
Bloody mucus flows
From my nose.

My clothes are
A muddy wreck.

Growing tired
Of their little amusement
That I present
To them.

Leaving me
To drag myself
Back home
From the elementary school.

All three of us
Went to.

Having learnt
To hide any evidence
Of abusive bullying
Before my parents
Got home.

The wiser
For my parents.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: Not sure, which one is worse, having auditory or visual flashbacks, but given the frequency and duration of my auditory flashbacks, I would have to say, they are. Often, finding myself, trapped, within a viscous loop that can last for several hours,  as they destroy, whatever sense of worth, I have. Leaving me, feeling like, I'm trapped, in that dark time, of my life, again. 

For today, is one such day, for me, as my anxiety levels are spiking upwards, and I need to stop them, before they paralyze me, within this toxic loop.

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