Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Caught Between Two Worlds (February 3, 2016)


www.forward.com
Can feel
My emotions
Pushing forth
Beyond the barriers
I have built.

Wondering
As I question myself
For thinking
This way.

Am I
Delusional?

In my challenging
The status quo
That society has
So rigidly imposed
On those
Who are different.

In my wanting
And needing
To fully embrace
This change.

On the physical
And spiritual level.

Knowing
By doing so
I have become
A leper.

For those people
Who fear
And avoid me.

To do otherwise
Would mean
Continuing living
My life
As a ghost.

Moving through life
Unable to connect
With people
On a meaningful level.

Beyond
Being seen
As a pale shade
Of myself.

Neither
Fully alive
Nor
Truly dead.

Sadly
My own answer
To this question.

Is a shrug
Of my shoulders
And a frustrated sigh
As I move on.


Therisa © 2016




Author's note: Not exactly sure, why I wrote this, beyond this driving need, to do so. In having done so, I do feel, a tad lighter physically and spiritually. Either way, this probably, my most spiritual poem, in a long time.

15 comments:

  1. Finding inner peace is the struggle for everyone, but it is even moire difficult for those who do not fit into neat categories. Nathaniel Branden said something like in a world where conformity is encouraged, it is a heroic act to discover one's authentic self and honor it. I encourage you to stay strong and know you are more than than what you may appear. Best wishes, Mosk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Mosk. For almost my entire life, I have been the large square peg, being forced, into the small circular opening. Even now, as I find my true self, there are days, which I wish, I didn't have struggle so much.

      Delete
  2. I agree with Buddah, you are walking the hero's path on your journey. It is never easy to stand in one's own truth against all the "should's" of the world. But we have to be who we are. Those who cannot accept that, we dont need in our world anyway. I like that shrug of the shoulders. Bravo for standing strong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sadly, Sherry, I don't feel so heroic, for walking this path that I do.

      Sigh. I have learnt this lesson, the hard way, after my mom rejected me, as her daughter. As I hung on, the mistaken idea that she would change, over time. Sadly, she hasn't, and I have cut off all ties to her, for the sake, of my own mental health.

      Delete
  3. I agree with the fact the those of us who are different than others are not accepted by society or its norms. But we are not always meant to do what's expected of us. Beautifully executed.


    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sadly, Sanaa, your words speak the bitter truth, about those people, who different. The dreamer, in me, wants to hold on, to the belief that people can change, but the realist, in me, can only shake my head, and move on.

      Delete
  4. This is so vivid--I can really feel this one--such a painful place to be

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Divalounger, am working on it, to make it, a lot less painful place, for me. Writing is, just one of the ways, I hoping, to make it so.

      Delete
  5. My comment was here earlier. I don't see it now....was there a problem with it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I see now it IS on your previous poem. Whew!

      Delete
    2. Mary, I would never remove anyone's comments, unless they're racist, homophobic, transphobic or hurtful, in another way. At the time, you posted your comment (18:54 EST), I was offline, for the night, getting something to eat.

      Delete
  6. Good for you for continuing to move on!! You know your authenticity. Embrace it fully!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Mary, for your supportive comments.

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  7. Am touched and honoured by your response. Thank you so much. I read your poem and salute you for wanting to be who you are in a world that does not want to understand for fear that it will hold a mirror to its failings. Keep moving and know that we are with you. (I responded on my blog and then realized wordpress and blogger don't necessarily communicate messages back and forth.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your very welcome, Thotpurge. It's ok, life can be like that. Again, thanks and your welcome. :)

      Delete

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