Testosterone tainted ashes
I emerge
Once more.
As I brush off
Various remnants
From my past life
Off my soul.
Knowing
A long road
Awaits me.
In my sojourn
As a woman.
Wiping away
Those bitter tears
Where hate reign
Supreme.
Surprising myself
With how far
I have travelled
In the past decade.
In finding
Courage and strength
To be honest and true
With myself and others.
Knowing
There are others
Who'll oppose
This journey
Of self-discovery
And healing.
On ignorance
Alone.
Pity.
Therisa © 2017
Author's note: Wednesday, March 2, 2007, marks the last day that I have worked when I quit my job, as the result of transphobic pressure, applied to me, by the company that I worked, for then. Basically, I had to fight, to attend a peer support group, that met twice, every month, except for December, as the group took that month off. Wasn't unusual for one of the company drivers, to make homophobic comments and jokes, as I worked.
Over the past 10 years, I lost my apartment, lived in a homeless shelter, been on welfare and now, a provincial disability support program, for my chronic depression, anxiety disorders, agoraphobia, and PTSD. I have learned coping strategies, in dealing, with my various mental illness, and seeking closure, to my abusive past that I have suppressed, for most of my life, without realizing it, until my mental barriers collapsed, on August 14, 2007, when I experienced a 26 hour long panic attack, triggered, during a morning rush hour ride, on the TTC subway line 1. Since then, I have tried to avoid any appointments that placed me, on the TTC, during rush hour, whether it be morning or afternoon.
Am sharing this, with you, to show how far, I have travelled, in the past decade, and how much, is still left to be done, before I can rejoin society and earn my way, as a productive member, able to help others, with my experiences and knowledge.
