In my mind's eye
It unfolds
Like a tragic drama
In slow motion.
Knowing
It'll end
In broken emotions
And tears.
Wanting to scream
At myself:
"Stay away
From the apartment door
Don't open it!!"
At the sound
Of mom
Knocking
Unannounced
At my door.
Not expecting
Anyone
From my family.
Wearing
A navy blue floral skirt
And red t-shirt.
Fingers and toes
Painted
In Revlon Raven
(A dark shade of red).
And
Golden studs
Adoring my ears.
Did I
In answering
The door.
Not sure
Who was
More surprised.
Her
Or I.
Should have
Told her:
"Good-bye".
As I closed
The door.
Instead
I let her
Enter.
Thus
My descent
Into Hell
And madness.
In forcing
Myself
Out of the closet
Before I was ready.
As her trans-daughter
Who happens
To be
A lesbian.
Therisa © 2016
Author's note: There is more, to this story, but I don't feel comfortable, in sharing it, right now. Safe, to say, I crashed and burned, emotionally and mentally, after this Canada Day long weekend, in 2006. Since, this incident, I have broken off, all ties, with my family, given my mom's transphobia and my brother's abusive behavior, over the years.
Wasn't the poem, I was expecting for my 2700th, but some things are beyond our control.
