Attempt At Order (June 6, 2016)

How I wish

I could say

My life has been

All moonbeams

And roses.

And

Those violent experiences

Are mere figments

Of my imagination.

Except

The mental strain

And the damage done

Over the years

Says otherwise.

You must realize

My unique situation

Isn't the norm

For most trans-Canadian.

Rather

Just one

Of the more

Extreme cases

On the violent end

Of the experience

Spectrum.

Please understand

I don't write poetry

In the hope

Of gaining pity.

Or

Other similar

Emotions.

Should

I want them.

Only

Have to look

In the bathroom mirror.

And see

My reflection

Staring back

At me.

No

These stanzas

You see

Before you.

Are my lame attempt

To impose order

On the chaos

I have lived

Through.

Never expecting

Anyone would read these

And respond back

Like they have.

Therisa © 2016

Reality Check Time (June 6, 2016)

Tomorrow

June 6,  2016

Canada won't have

Any law covering

Assisted death.

Given

The flawed bill

That the Liberals

Are pushing

Through Parliament

And the Senate.

Rather

Have none

And get the legislation

Right.

The first time.

Then 

Pay out millions

In legal fees.

For the long

And emotional

Court challenge

That will come.

Those doomsayers

Who are predicting

The end

Of the medical system

In Canada.

I have

One word

For them:

"Bullshit!"

For Canada's courts

Have laid out

The necessary criteria

For these cases

To occur.

While

The various provincial

And territorial colleges

Of physicians

Are developing

Their own guidelines

For their members.

Remember

Everyone.

Just because

You have

A right to control

Your life.

Doesn't mean

It will be used

By those

In extreme pain

Or a terminal condition.

And yes

The only "wild west"

Situation.

Is coming

From those

With a political axe

To grind.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: On Friday, June 3, 2016, Canada's Senate started it's third reading of C-14, as the Liberal dominated House of Commons passed the bill, without any major changes, ignoring all opposition proposed changes, to it. While, this was happening, the Alberta Court of Appeal, slammed the federal government, for going against the Carter Decision, by the Supreme Court of Canada, which ruled the current law against assissted death, as unconstitional. For more, on the Alberta ruling, please click, on the following link:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/alberta-appeal-court-assisted-dying-c14-1.3587234

Myself, I support the right, to choose, one's moment of death, whether or not, you're suffering from a terminal condition, as the propose law, would only allow. Ignoring the fact, psychairic conditions, can be, just as painful, in affecting the quality of life, of a person.

Being An Alien, In Your Own Home (June 4, 2016)

Although

A Canadian citizen

By birth.

There are times

That I feel

Like a foreigner

In my own country.

Struggle

To understand

The reasons

For this.

As if

My very existence

Is an abomination

To creation.

Too often

I feel unsafe

Upon the streets

Of Toronto.

Having

At various times

Felt my life

Being threaten.

Living

In Brampton, Ontario

(A suburb community

Of Toronto)

And Toronto, Ontario

(Ontario's capital

And Canada's largest city).

Am I

Being justifiably

Paranoid

For feeling

This way?

As the transphobic

Psychiatrist labelled me

In her psych assessment

From December 2007.

Knowing

The next time

Could mean

My death.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: For more, on this Ipsos-Yahoo! Canada poll, please click on the link:

 https://ca.news.yahoo.com/experience-bears-out-ipsos-yahoo-canada-poll-on-230426457.html

First Steps (June 4, 2016)

My Dearest

Brothers and Sisters;

These bitter-sweet tears

That you see

Flowing down

My face.

Are

In honour

Of your healing

And the ability

To celebrate

Your true self.

For too long

You have suffered

With the stigma

Of being Aboriginal

And LGBT+.

Of having

Your culture

And heritage

Destroyed.

In the racist belief

By doing so

We're advancing

You.

Casting you

Adrift

Without 

A sense of self-worth

Or self-value.

Something

I can relate to

All too well.

As

I struggle

With the same fight.

Please accept

These words

I offer.

As a sign

That true healing

Can begin

For all of us.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: As Attawapiskat, the northern Ontario community, has been struggling with mass suicide attempts, among its population, I felt, the need to share, this positive healing article, with the world. To read this article, please click on the link:

https://ca.news.yahoo.com/saskatchewan-first-nation-group-to-host-two-spirit-192026190.html

A Forged Past (June 4, 2016)

A sad sigh

Is gently released

Through clenched lips.

As my mind wanders

Down memory lane

With the numerous albums

Filled thousands of photos

Of me.

Documenting

Thirty-five years

Of living

A horrendous lie.

My mom

Has taken

Of me.

Just like

My old cub handbook

And anything else

That reeks

Of this falsehood.

I want them

All burnt.

Honestly

These objects

Only matter

To one person.

My mom.

To her

As witnessed

By her actions

And body language.

I have

Already died

On July 1, 2006.

Why keep

These fraudulent images

For many

She has stalked me.

With the camera

Like a tiger does

To its prey.

Knowing

My countless requests

Not to.

And deep animosity

Towards

Having my photo

Being taken.

Not

That she

Ever listened

To me.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: My mom and I have had numerous fights, over her taking my photo, without my permission, over the years. To the point, I have deliberately gone out of my way, to spoil any chance photo, she might take of me. Just one more case, of her, not respecting the boundaries, I set up, for myself, with her.

Surviving The Kiln (June 3, 2016)

"It survived"

To paraphrase

The line

From Frankenstein

Movies.

As my "crater project"

Escapes

The kiln

Unbroken.

A major worry

Given

The deep fissures

That pockmark

The piece.

In releasing

A huge sigh

Of relief

From my held

breathe.

Thus

Able to move on

With the next stages

Towards completion.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: On May 27, 2016, "the crater" was loaded, on the bottom of the kiln, due to the fear that it might shatter, during the first firing. Although, I was absent, when it was removed from the kiln, on May 30th, it miraculously survived, the first firing, and have since started to apply the various coloured glazes. 

Thanks, But No Thanks (June 3, 2016)

egend has it

At the end

Of the rainbow

We'll find

A pot of gold.

And yet

For many trans-people

The rainbow flag

Is a sign

Of oppression.

As

We're left behind

To scratch

Tooth and nail

For the most part.

By an indifferent

Gay and lesbian community

Who have won

Their legal rights

Already.

This is why

With a clear conscious

I'll have nothing

To do.

With Toronto's

Pride celebrations.

Devolving

Into an excuse

For hedonistic parties

Supporting corporate sponsors.

Forgetting

The true roots

Of Pride's existence:

To protect

Against injustice

And inequality.

Is it

Any wonder

Many trans-people

Have elected

To go stealth.

Instead of

Remaining visible

And fighting

The system.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: This year marks the 35th year of Toronto, having Pride marches, which started, as a protest march, against the indiscriminate police raids, of gay bath houses. Over the years, it has grown, to include, the lesbian and trans-community, whether or not, the gay community want it.

Glossary of terms 

Stealth: going underground, denying your trans' roots, when you're totally passable, in your preferred gender.

Throwaway People (June 3, 2015)

In my community

Where poverty is

The way of life

For too many.

We struggle

To hold hope

Within our heart

On a daily basis.

Fighting

Against the urge

To become

Another drug town.

In seeking

An avenue

Of escape

In whatever form

Available.

Where

Death is found

A penny

For a dozen souls.

Regardless

Of race

Or gender.

In numbing

Our senses

Against

The brutal grind

Of daily life.

As the mentally ill

Are found

In the discount bins

Of the local Wal-Mart.

Abandoned

And forgotten

By society

Like yesterday's DVDs.

Only

To be tossed

In the local

Landfill.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: The above protest poem was created, from this word bank: community, hope, poverty, drug town, and Wal-Mart.

For the record, I live, in one of thirteen "priority neighbourhoods", in the city of Toronto, that lacks basic infrastructure, which a modern community needs, to sustain, the development of a healthy population. Where, the local supermarket, is nothing more, than a convenience store.


Due to budget cuts, over the past decade, in Ontario, the mental health programs have declined to the point, long term programs are being eliminated and replaced, with short to medium term ones. With the added burden of long waiting lists, to those long term programs that still exist. Literally, a penny-wise, and a pound foolish, as the old saying goes. 

Eulogy For A Soul Regain (June 2, 2016)

Death

From living

A lie.

At 35 years

8 months

And 13 days

On November 15th.

For one

T------ A----- G-------.

Upon marking

The seventh anniversary

Of his father's death

In November 1998

Over his grave.

Selflessly

He placed

The need of others

Before his own.

Battling undiagnosed

Mental illness

For most of his life.

In spite of

His silent tears

Kept those

Around him

Smiling.

Overcoming

Various learning disabilities

Turned his doubters

Into believers.

With his B.A.

From Carleton University

In 1994.

Filling his dad

With unexpressed

Pride.

Please

I ask you.

"Wipe away

Those tears

From your eyes

And rejoice."

From this death

Comes forth

A new life.

With love

And renewed hope

For the future.

Where

None existed

Before.

For I am standing

Before you

Like the Phoenix

Who has risen

From death's ashes.

Spreading my wings

Wide and far

As I soar

On life's thermals.

Therisa © 2016


Author's note: It was November 15, 2005, when I realized my true self, as I stood over, my dad's grave, crying uncontrollably, for 5 minutes. This day will forever, be edged, in my memory, for the unusually very mild weather, we're experiencing that November. On this particular day, it was a mild mist that cover the greater Toronto area, instead of, the usually bitter cold blowing winds, and temperatures, just hovering about 0 C.


In August 1977, I hid away Therisa, to protect her, for the transphobic and general abuse, I was experiencing, as a part of my daily life, living in, a small rural Ontario village. For the next 28 years, she remain thus, until this fateful day, in 2005.

Potty Talk (June 2, 2016)

Although

Have the legal right

To enter and use

A woman's washroom

In Ontario.

It's one

Am leery

To use.

Fearful

Of a transphobic

Reaction

By the other users.

Even though

No one has

Ever complained

About me

Doing so.

And yet

The fear

Remains.

As for

Those transphobic bigots

Who bring up

The old red herring

Of us

Being sexual voyeurs.

Seeking

A cheap frill

For seeing exposed

Women and children.

To them

I say:

"Get

      A

        Fucking

     Life

Losers."

Loves

All of the perverts

Who been caught

Are cis-males.

And I

Repeat.

Am
Not one.


Just
A pre-op
Trans-woman
Finding her.

My only request

To you.

Could you

In the future

Please be

More creative

In your transphobic

Opposition?

Am

So tired

And bored

Of your current

Standard lines.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: For the first time, Canada has declared, the month of June, as "Pride Month", in support of the LGBT+ community, as the rainbow flag flies, on Parliament Hill, besides the Canadian flag. In Toronto, Pride celebrations have been extended from the usual 10 days, to the entire month of June, as well. A move, to cash in, on the tourists that Pride events draws, here. Ok, call me, a cynic, on this one.

The following link, is from Yahoo! Canada, and the series of daily articles, on Canada's LGBT+ community and the issues that we're facing. Here, are the past two day articles:

https://ca.news.yahoo.com/canadians-have-little-interest-in-battling-over-104328087.html

https://ca.news.yahoo.com/the-bathroom-and-how-it-has-become-an-unlikely-231817790.html