Becoming bleary
As the tears
Roll down.
Feelings
Of guilt and shame
Wrack my soul.
As memories
Stream forth
Of another time
And place.
Where
I found myself
Praying for death.
Despising myself
For being
A freak.
Thoughts of death
Flood my mind
As everything
Become a weapon
To me.
Just wanting
The pain
To end.
By any means
Possible.
Even now
Should Death
Embrace my body
I won't fight Her.
Rather
Just want my pain
To be over.
Therisa © 2016
Author's note: Before the age of 12 years old, I have attempted suicide, several times, but failed, for various reasons. I haven't felt this down, hopeless and depressed, since the 2010/11 holiday season, when I made my last attempt. November, next to July (my second hardest), is the hardest month, emotionally, for me. Right now, I wish, I had my dad, to cry in his broad shoulders, and have him. give me, the emotional support, unconditionally. Something, my mom has never been able to do,
1 comment:
I'm sorry November is so hard on you. It is almost over and I hope December is better. How are your kitties Doing?
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