Won't pretend
I understand
Why people read
My poetry.
Knowing
Other poets
Exist.
Who write
More technically
On more conventional subjects
Than I do.
As I struggle
For daily balance
And restraint
With mental illness.
While
Exploring
What it means
To live life
As a woman.
Too often
Am fighting
To remain upright
Just below
My equilibrium point.
As anxiety/panic attacks
Strip me
Of whatever dignity
In a very public way
For everyone
To see.
My body trembling
So badly
Barely able
To control it.
As if
I have some form
Of palsy
Or neurological
Disorder.
Fighting against
The destructive impulse
To hide-away
Within my apartment.
Where
It's safe.
In knowing
I need to
Face it
Head-on.
If I am
To get better
Mentally.
Therisa © 2016
Author's note: Yesterday (May 13, 2016), I was triggered, in a very bad way. While, attending the art program, I go to. It was one, of my worse anxiety attacks, recently. For several hours, my right arm and left leg trembled, uncontrollably. Almost felt like, a metronome, from the trembling. A combination of aromatherapy and sleep, I have gotten the anxiety attack, under control, last night.
