Like this
That I feel like
A total fraud.
As if
My very existence
Is an outright lie.
No matter
What I do.
Feeling like
I'm stuck
In those dark
And violent days
Of my childhood.
Wanting
To hide away
In the deepest corner
Of my apartment.
Like
The little girl
I feel like
Right now.
Knowing
I don't have
Dad's strong arms
To wrap me
In a supportive hug.
The type
He shared
Freely
Growing up.
Just once
I wish
For one
Of those hugs.
For my tears
To flow
Upon his shoulders.
Holding my daemons
Afar
For another day.
Therisa © 2016
Author's note: This November 15th, will mark the 18th anniversary of my dad's death, from a fatal heart attack, on November 13th. And I find myself, missing him, more than ever, as he tried to encourage me, even though, he didn't understand the needs, I had, as a child, growing up, being ashamed of my need, to be female.
