Saturday, 11 March 2017

Joy Of Being Examined (March 11, 2017)

Oh boy
What joy
Not!

In a few years
I get to be prodded
And poked
In the most clinical
Of way.

In the search
For possible cancers.

Uniquely
That only trans-women
Get both.

As my breasts
Are mashed 
And filmed
Like movie stars
They are.

Only thing missing
Frantic fans screaming
For autographs
And selfies.

Hoping
No phone call/letter
Is needed
For more tests.

Never mind
As my doctor's office
Becomes
A one stop
Jiffy Lube location
(I hope).

A latex-free gloved hand
Enters my lubed anus
Like an oil dipstick
Feeling the prostate gland
For any irregularity.

An examination
I so detest
Feeling violated
By it.

Am
So not looking forward 
To my fiftieth birthday
As these presents
Await me. 

Sigh.

Therisa © 2017

Author's note: In Ontario, women (breast) and men (prostate gland) are screened, at regular intervals, for signs of possible cancerous growth. Or sooner, if there's a family history of these cancers.

As a teenager, I had several prostate examinations, as it was feared, I might have testicular cancer, on my right teste. During the biopsy, the lump was discovered, as a hydrocele, which the surgeon drain. Had it been a cancerous growth, the first line of treatment would've been, to surgically remove my teste, replacing it, with a plastic prosthetic. 

Ironically, this is covered, by Ontario's taxpayers, while an orchiectomy, is deemed cosmetic surgery, and I must pay for it, myself. For many poor trans-women, we can't afford to fully become ourselves, due to the high cost of the various surgeries, without taking out outrageous bank loans, that will cripple us, financially, for the rest of our lives. 

10 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness, complications I never dreamed of! It seems so wrong that for you such surgery should be deemed merely cosmetic, when I am sure you would nevertheless have to jump through all sorts of hoops to persuade doctors to operate.

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  2. You have poured your fears into this poem... hope all goes well for you.

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  3. This poem reminds me that there are many indignities inflicted upon us humans, many of them at the hands of medical personnel.

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  4. What a vicious cycle the humans have created for their own kind! Shame!....

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  5. In Japan, we are required to do the stomach cancer test every year. I didn't like it that much but I realized it will benefit us.

    I enjoyed the poem, Therisa and the humor in it. I unserstood it even more after reading the postscripts. Happy 50th (soon)!!


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  6. This kind of poking and prodding really IS intrusive; but hopefully it does deter dangers that could develop if one did not endure these things.

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  7. I enjoy the humour in the poem, and I hear the unfairness in which surgeries are considered "elective", though they are needed by the person to feel wholly themselves. We have a long way to go.

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  8. Your pain and fear is so palpable here.. i m so sorry you have to face this :(

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  9. And yet, there are tests and they extend life! Although I suspect at times they are all part off ongoing scientific experiments. Physicians know so little. And then of course there are the humiliations and ironies that are not innocent. Quite a brave and vulnerable poem.

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  10. Just look at the prodding from the doctors point of view as it can't be his favorite job!

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