Tuesday, 1 November 2016

Breaking Away (November 1, 2016)

If April is
The month of showers
And May
Flowers.

Then
November is
The month of tears.

I say this
As storm clouds 
Gather.

A time of death
And rebirth.

Of family lost
And a soul
That's reclaimed
From the dead.

As the healing process
Works its way
Through me.

Marking
The transition period
From light to dark
And back
Again.

Refusing
To let the pain
Claim me
As another victim
Of hate.

As it has
For too many year
In my life.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: Today is, an anniversary date for me, which 3 years ago, I broke off my last contact with my abusive mom. Thus, cutting off, all contact with my biological family. At the time, I had asked her, if it was possible for her, to get my birthday and Christmas gift, at the same time, as the country roads to her home, can become unsafe, from November until April, due to snow. For I had asked her, for help on buying a new winter jacket, for myself. Needless to say, she found countless excuses, why she couldn't help me, when I rarely ask for anything, from me. After hearing her last excuse, I told her, to sod off and want nothing more, to do with her, in my life. 

Am so tired, of having to fight anxiety attacks, playing by her restrictive rules, whenever I want/or need to contact her, of seeing her eyes filled with fear, which she denies. Her refusal to entry my apartment, as if, I have bedbugs, inside. Generally, being treated, as a childish family member, one can barely tolerate, at the best of times. Who needs, all aspects of their live, to be controlled, by an "adult". As if, I was mentally unable to look, after myself.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry this is such a difficult time, but I applaud you and your writing, which I presume helps you soldier on. Keep at it, Love, Mosk

    ReplyDelete

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