Saturday, 6 August 2016

Intolerance (August 6, 2016)

Why do you seek
To force me
Into your beliefs?

Knowing
Full well
My steadfast
Refusal of them.

As if
My rejection
Is spurning you
Forward
In this pursuit
Of madness.

Does not
Several decades
Of "No"
Mean anything
To you?

In pushing me
Ever further
From your side.

By creating
An insurmountable divide
Between us
That only death
Can bridge.

I ask this
As your time is nigh
And won't  be there
For your final breathe
Or funeral.

Knowing
You'll never change
Before Death's embrace
Mom.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: Reflections on, part of my therapy session, I had, earlier this week (August 3, 2016), how my mom has refuse to accept the boundaries, I have placed around religious observation, in regards, to attending a Christian church. Never mind, her narrow mindedness, and the irrational fear that grips her, towards my transitioning, into her daughter, from a son.

2 comments:

  1. I thought I hadn't seen you around lately, so I came by to see how you're doing.

    This is a sad situation you describe. At least you are coming to terms with the fact that she is most unlikely to change. How strong you must have to be for al of it, including this bit! Given her narrow beliefs, she must be urging you to what she believes would be the best for you – even though you know it would not. It's motherly love, albeit twisted; may that interpretation be some comfort to you in the face of the inevitable severance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sadly, Rosemarie, most of this strength that you're describing is, nothing more than my pent up anger, being expressed, in a safe and constructive way. In the past, I had a few PTSD "rage attacks", which I would have done serious bodily harm to my mom, if she was around me, at the time.

      Sadly, she hasn't gotten the idea, I am, my own person, and those, have my own life, to live, as I see best, for my personal needs and whenever, I have tried to explain this, she tries to guilt trip me, for being selfish and unloving of her. Sorry, I can't be her eldest "son" anymore. That boat sailed away, decades ago.

      Delete

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