Saturday, 25 June 2016

Who Am I? (June 25, 2016)

Often wonder
When my curiosity
Gets the better of me
What my obit would say
About the person.

Who
I am
To others?

A question
I ask.

Having read
Some of the victims' lives
From the Pulse Massacre
In Orlando, Fl.

Shall I
Be remembered
As a dreamer.

Who dare
To live life
As a woman
Trapped
Within a man's body?

An educator
Who taught society
One person
At a time.

What means
To be
A transsexual
In a transphobic world.

An abuse survivor
Who is turning
Her tortured past
In something creative
And healing
For others.

A person
That others come to
In times of trouble
Who listens
To their burden
Without judgement.

As I struggle
With my own nightmares
That I have bottled up
Inside of me.

Questions
I will never know
The answers
In my lifetime.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: Before people start thinking, I'm suicidal and about to take my life, please stop, and realize this, my lifespan will be shorter, than my dad's and opa's, due to mental illness and inherited genetic conditions, like diabetes and heart disease. Never mind, most trans-people, in general, have a short life, than the general public. 

Personally, never thought, I would see my 30th birthday, yet alone, to celebrate my 45th one. The Pulse Massacre, in Orlando, Fl, has rocked me, to the core, like my opa's death did, on my 14th birthday, so many years ago. Although, I don't know, any of the victims, they're family, in a way, you wouldn't understand.

8 comments:

  1. I am sure your community feels this event a hundred times more personally than the general public. The way you live, listening to others, reaching out, trying to educate people, one person at a time, that there will be very many people who will remember Therisa. Smiles.

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  2. A personal poem beautifully stated....I think it is fitting we ponder how we will be remembered...it makes us a better person, but you already know that about yourself.

    Donna@LivingFromHappiness

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  3. Indeed I think this is a question many of us ask ourselves. How will others remember us after we leave this earth? I have been to memorial services and heard glowing words, wondering if the deceased really knew how others felt. Mostly I think people don't say the words of letting a person know how important and loved they are while they live. They are a bit wasted after death, but I guess they make those around feel good. Therisa, I am sure you have many good lessons to teach & have no doubt there are those in your midst that appreciate them.

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  4. I admire your courage and strength which reflects in your poems.
    Sending you lots of patience and prayers. xo

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  5. Very interesting piece. I understood. The answer is in our hearts and that's a truth no other heart can see but only share, either in pain or joy.
    I always enjoy my visits here BUT the onion cutting still makes me cry :-)
    ZQ

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  6. I read somewhere once about the trick to a life with 'no regrets' is to live life backwards....from the vantage point of what they want said about them at the end/what they want to be remembered for and then go out and consciously live with that in mind. It's an interesting perspective and one I think of often when considering the deep questions you're pondering here.

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  7. those that don't listen to you speak, don't hear or read your words will never know you. it is not your problem it is theirs. gracias for sharing your soul

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  8. I think you are learning us all a lot Therisa... keep on writing as you do.

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