Saturday, 14 May 2016

Under Control (May 14, 2016)

Won't pretend
I understand
Why people read
My poetry.

Knowing
Other poets
Exist.

Who write
More technically
On more conventional subjects
Than I do.

As I struggle
For daily balance
And restraint
With mental illness.

While
Exploring
What it means
To live life
As a woman.

Too often
Am fighting
To remain upright
Just below
My equilibrium point.

As anxiety/panic attacks
Strip me
Of whatever dignity
In a very public way
For everyone
To see.

My body trembling
So badly
Barely able
To control it.

As if
I have some form
Of palsy
Or neurological
Disorder.

Fighting against
The destructive impulse
To hide-away
Within my apartment.

Where
It's safe.

In knowing
I need to
Face it
Head-on.

If I am
To get better
Mentally.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: Yesterday (May 13, 2016), I was triggered, in a very bad way. While, attending the art program, I go to. It was one, of my worse anxiety attacks, recently. For several hours, my right arm and left leg trembled, uncontrollably. Almost felt like, a metronome, from the trembling. A combination of aromatherapy and sleep, I have gotten the anxiety attack, under control, last night.

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