Monday, 9 May 2016

Just One Step Taken (May 9, 2016)

A time of growth
And change
In questioning
All aspects
Of my life.

The pre-conceived notion
What it means
To be me
By others.

Have I suppressed
My true sexual nature
As well?

I be
Straight or bisexual
Instead of
A lesbian?

Reality is
Just thinking
Of a man
Penetrating me
Is a horrific thought
That repulses me.

The thought exists.

It maybe.

I shudder
Just thinking
About it.

Therisa © 2016

Author's note: During, this early period, of my transitioning, I was rediscovering long suppressed memories of abuse (after a very traumatic and prolonged panic attack that stripped me, of whatever mental defenses, I had left), I had endured, as a child, on the schoolyard, by various bullies; and at home, by my younger brother and mom. Leaving me, to wonder, what else, have I been suppressing, as well. Must admit, am still uncovering old memories, and the pain hasn't lessened, over the years. Although, I have learned new methods, in facing, these old experiences, like writing, and using clay, as media, to do.

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