One of my writing books
Lays open
With three stanzas
Written out.
As I struggle
With a learning disability
That locks away
My thoughts
Behind
A mental wall.
(One of several
I have been diagnosed
So long ago
In grade seven.)
Which makes
The Great Wall of China
Appear like
A backyard fence
Between neighbours.
My pen lays
Beside the book
As one of the cats
Gives friendly swats
At it.
Driving me
Nuts
As I know
What I want to write.
For I can
Describe it
To you
In full detail
But
Can't transcribe it
Onto the written page
Or computer screen.
Is it
Any wonder
My exam times.
Whether
At high school
Or university
Were very anxious periods
For me.
Never mind
My small cramp writing
That I had
A high school teacher
Tell me:
"Type it
Or else."
Implying
It wouldn't be
Looked at
By him.
Thus
A failing mark
For me.
Know
I should place this
Aside
For now.
But
Can feel it.
So close
To be
Bursting out
From this mental prison
Of mine.
As it
Slips away
From me.
With
A frustrated sigh
I walk away.
Hoping
Next time
The wall been removed.
Allowing me
To finish
This poem.
Therisa © 2016
Author's note: Since, I started kindergarten (1975), until I got my B.A.(1994), I have been, in and out, of special education classes, for various reasons, but only, got tested for learning disabilities, during the school year of 1983-84. The results showed, I was an above average student, at the second deviation for I.Q, reading level of first year university, with a reading comprehension, at grade 11, and spelling level, at the 25th percentile (which means, 75 % of my age cohort is ahead of me.).
Never mind, my grades were C's and D's, on the report card. Or that my grade one teacher failed me, for being "lazy", on my final report card. Ironically, they told my parents, not to show me, this learning assessment, as if, I would develop a huge ego, from reading this. When, the opposite is true, as I have low self-esteem and self-confidence. Something, the report failed to discover.
Never mind, my grades were C's and D's, on the report card. Or that my grade one teacher failed me, for being "lazy", on my final report card. Ironically, they told my parents, not to show me, this learning assessment, as if, I would develop a huge ego, from reading this. When, the opposite is true, as I have low self-esteem and self-confidence. Something, the report failed to discover.
3 comments:
Well, I say bravo! for the poem that resulted. I liked the comparison of the Great Wall to a fence between neighbors - great comparison. That grade one teacher was so wrong about you! Glad the tests showed what they did and yes, they should have told you.
I understand that you have a lot inside you, but struggle to get it out on paper or computer. I used to teach. I am sorry you had teachers who did not understand you were not lazy. ...in fact were FAR from that. It really was a shame that they did not discover you had a learning disability a LOT earlier instead of putting you in special ed where your self esteem, of course, would take a tumble. I really am glad that you are writing now. Don't accept any of those negative assessments. YOU know who you are!!
Hope you will visit PU Poetry Pantry today. As you had not posted, I came looking for you. Smiles. You could share this poem if you like!!
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